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The Family Desk

The Family Desk explores parenting, lifestyle, and work through personal experience, cultural observation, and the perspective that comes from raising children across borders.

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FRIENDSHIP/RELATIONSHIPS/PERSONAL GROWTH

What Do Our Conversations Say About Us?

A friendship from years ago left me wondering where ordinary talk ends and gossip begins

4 min readOct 11, 2026

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Women gossiping to each other.
Photo by Margo Evardson on Unsplash

“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

Years ago, I had a friend I’ll call Vivian. I met her at my local YMCA. She was a few years younger than me and had two young children. She was affectionate and welcoming, and she often invited me and my children over for tea and playdates. We spent quite a bit of time together, and I enjoyed those afternoons at her house. She was kind to me, and we got along well.

There was one thing about Vivian that I never quite knew how to handle. She liked to gossip, especially about people we both knew.

Samantha, a mutual friend, came up in our conversations more often than anyone else. I liked Samantha and considered her a friend, although she and Vivian had their differences. When Vivian criticized her, I never quite knew what to say. I didn’t want to argue with Vivian, yet I wasn’t comfortable listening to someone I liked being talked about that way.

Most of the time, I let her talk. I wasn’t sure how to respond without making things…

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B.R. Shenoy
B.R. Shenoy

Written by B.R. Shenoy⁠

6 States/5 Countries/3 Continents•Owner & Editor of The Family Desk •MS Toxicology•BS Biochemistry•Married Mom of 2• Topics: Family, Work, Nature & Travel

The Family Desk
The Family Desk

Published in The Family Desk

The Family Desk explores parenting, lifestyle, and work through personal experience, cultural observation, and the perspective that comes from raising children across borders.