Are you AA or AS?
On the topic of genotype, why Nigerians need to see relationships beyond procreation as the end point.
If I were asked, “Are you AS?” I’m not about to expose my genotype to the internet but for the sake of clarity: I am not. However, even if I were, would I give up on love if my other half was also AS? No. Now, I don’t want to interject this essay with too much personal sentiment, and perhaps this is just wishful thinking — I’m likely not half as romantic as to do something so daring in practice — but the principle remains.
If I were truly faced with such a situation, I wouldn’t be giving up on love. Can I simply end the essay with my answer? I am an anti-natalist, and I have very specific reasons why I believe more Nigerians should be at least “half” anti-natalist like me.
In Nigeria, there is only one major reason people ask about your ABO type or your genotype. It isn’t out of a general concern for your health; it is because that information determines the viability of every romantic relationship. The singular reason is procreation. Every goddamn one of the 200 million-plus people in Nigeria seems to have a desperate wish to procreate. Nigeria is a West African nation, and Black Africans are among the major casualties of sickle cell conditions. This condition often leaves a child with little to no chance of a healthy survival through childhood. Consequently, medical practitioners continue to ring it into the minds of the public that two people with the AS genotype should not copulate and have children. That is how AA became the most favored genotype in the country.
The AA genotype has the most sex appeal because everyone wants them. They are the “safe” choice. Because of this, they have become quite cocky.
On the other hand, people who choose love despite their “faulty” genotypes are often framed as symbols of defiance. There is a narrative that they loved each other so much they simply couldn’t peel away. But that defiance comes at a heavy cost. By choosing to procreate, they produce offspring with one of the most health-assaulting conditions in the world, opening their own child up to long years of suffering before the child finally surrenders to death.
I truly believe that Nigerians who are AS or SS can choose love and stay together, but to do so, they need to decenter procreation. In Nigerian society, it is unheard of for a marriage to be considered “complete” without kids. Couples who do not have children are subjected to constant snide comments and pitiful stares. Often, these stares come from people who can’t even afford to care for the children they already have, but they feel superior because they were able to produce them.
In every Nigerian wedding, the pastor or Imam prays that you have a “multitude” of children. This procreation culture is abysmal. Nigerian women, in particular, undergo intense ridicule if there is even a small lag in their procreating capability. If the first year of marriage passes without a pregnancy, the whispers start. Add one more year, and the gossips become bolder, with stares following you around every corner. People begin to make insinuations about your past and the imaginary abortions you might have had. You will hear stories about how your past use of Postinor or birth control has finally “stopped” your childbearing ability.
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Four more years of being childless, and your neighborhood aunties will begin proffering “solutions” to you and your husband. If more years pass, your life might just become a Nollywood stage. It isn’t uncommon to hear of a mother-in-law bringing an underage girl for your husband to assault, justified by the claim that the girl is “pure and untouched” and her eggs are “riper” than yours.
I understand why people, regardless of the suffering it might bring to a child, go ahead and have children anyway. To many, the prospect of going through that kind of social torture just isn’t worth it. Nigerian society is brutal toward those who cannot bear children. Even if you manage to bear just one, they are immediately looking at you, waiting for the second, third, and fourth.
When you ask people for the reason behind this obsession, they come up with the most out-of-touch responses. They say, ‘If one dies, you have others to comfort yourself with.’ The goal is not to view children as individual people, but as assets you must attain to be respected. They are viewed as “legacies” that will carry your name into the future, rather than human beings who will have to live through the reality of the world you’ve brought them into.
Romantic partners with both AS genotypes often think they love each other so much that their act of resistance is being together and procreating. But they aren’t resisting anything; they are simply following the script. They feel obligated to have children because society demands that everyone must.
The real act of resistance isn’t being together and procreating; it is choosing to be together without procreation. Making this choice doesn’t deny those in love of their partnership, and more importantly, it doesn’t take out the consequences of a “biological gamble” on a poor child. Some things are so deeply indoctrinated in us that we can’t fathom ourselves existing without them. Procreation is one of those things.
Nigerians as a whole need to decenter procreation as the only endpoint of romantic relationships and marriages. We need to look beyond these traditional obligations and move toward a world where our culture begins to shift and adapt to the current times. More Nigerians should consider being voluntarily childless. I believe this is the greatest act of resistance you can perform against a deeply regressive nation that barely caters to you as an adult, let alone your child.
By bringing a child into this environment, you are often just raising the next generation to go through the same hell you are experiencing more likely worst. Raising a family in this economy pushes more people into poverty than being unemployed does. The standard of life for an average Nigerian family is that of a lower-middle-income household, constantly fluctuating between the working class and total poverty.
If you truly think about the quality of life in Nigeria — and if you love the child, you wish to birth as a human being and not just as a must-have asset — you will begin to respect them more. You will realize that bringing them into a world that deprives you of happiness will only ruin their lives in the long run.
Being childless is an act of resistance against oppressive systems. In many developed countries, people are increasingly choosing their own stability and sustainability over the pressure to have children just to push some vague “legacy.” Nigeria is currently one of the most difficult places to be born, whether for a healthy child or for disabled children who require specialized medical attention that our system cannot provide.
More Nigerians should embrace a future where being childless is an acceptable goal. Giving up your life, your goals, and your peace of mind just because society asks you to is pointless. Choose your love despite the genotype mismatch. Love each other, live your lives, and do so without the inhibition of outdated societal demands.
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