The One Portal To Truth, If Any
Existence is mysterious, absolutely no doubts about it. Consciousness must be the most mysterious thing there is, nothing can beat this enigma. It is the enigma of who we are at the very core, that which makes everything else possible. All our thoughts, experiences and sensations are rooted in the field of Consciousness and yet, it is the one thing we cannot figure out with certainty and most likely never will. The possibility that a thorough understanding of the Absolute Truth of our existence is beyond our reach is a very scary proposition. I can easily imagine a genuine seeker of the truth going insane owing to this realization, it can be a heavy burden to live with the realization that one can factually never know what this is all about.
In reality, not many go insane in the pursuit of the Absolute Truth, as only a negligible minority of mankind care about this in the first place. The majority of mankind can be satisfied with whatever is the popular cosmic narrative of the day, be it evolutionary theory or the gospel of God or whatever it is that is within reach and equally important, that which is convenient. Within mankind, the pursuit of truth is not a widespread driving force, unlike the pursuit of happiness. Between these two pursuits, the pursuit of happiness has driven far more participants to mental breakdown, no comparison in the toll numbers. Unfortunately, these two paths get mixed up more than necessary and it can get all twisted. To untangle this mess, we first need to address what qualifies as Absolute Truth.
The way I see it, Absolute Truth is what it is and not what one believes it to be. It is the sum of the guiding principles manifesting our reality at this very moment and that which is unaltered by our beliefs. For instance, one can believe one will never age, but the body does not care about these beliefs, ask Bryan Johnson for an expensive realization of this rather simple fact of life. One can believe the Lord is looking over his shoulders or one can believe the spirit of his ancestors is protecting him. I can believe I will never be involved in a tragic accident and end up paraplegic because the universe cares about me, but this belief is worthless when it truly matters, in that fractional moment of a high speed crash. One can believe in whatever one wishes and more importantly, whatever is convenient, but that does not make much of a difference to what it is, all the more so when it truly matters.
No amount of delusions, individual or collective, can alter the fundamental structure of existence. Yes, our perception can influence our experience. But, it cannot alter the fundamental principles manifesting the experience. There must be an Absolute Truth, this I have no doubts about. It certainly cannot be all relative, in the sense that truth is whatever one perceives it to be. The question is not whether there is Absolute Truth, but the question is do we have access to it, can we get our hands on the source code of existence and know it inside out ? Not speculation or imagination, not a concept of truth built on existing narratives and theories, but a raw unadulterated understanding of the Absolute Truth ? As with everything that matters, this is not an YES or NO question, it is quite a tricky situation.
What makes this situation tricky is our minds are tainted with a hundred different ideas of what it is supposed to be, that it has all but lost the possibility of seeing what it is. Unfortunately, there is no way to reset our minds and start over afresh, we have no choice but to seek the truth with the aid of tainted glasses. As a matter of fact, this limitation applies to every experience in our lives, it is built into the very structure of how we experience anything and everything. Every experience of ours is made possible with the huge in-built database of memory and imagination, it is hard to say if anything can be classified as an untainted experience at all. To expect that the pursuit of truth would not face the same limitation would be naivety. Even if the Absolute Truth is laid bare right in front of us, our eyes are way too corrupted to recognize it.
I wonder what would it be to start over with a mind that is fully reset, but am painfully aware that it is never going to happen. Even if there was a magical way to reset my mind, it would not take long for it to be clouded with a new set of data points. No way to bypass the fundamental structure of the human mind. Thanks to this limitation, even if one does have a moment of contact with the Absolute Truth, there is no way of knowing if it is indeed the treasure one has been chasing or just another play of the mind. To make things worse, there is no seal of approval from the cosmos saying one has arrived at the destination. It is not like the cosmos gives one a special tattoo when finally figures it all out and he can then end his pursuit with assurance. All things considered, this is a cursed journey where there is no way of knowing if one has reached the destination or missed it by a thousand miles or worse, passed by it long time ago.
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Given how futile the pursuit of Absolute Truth is, if one is not driven by intense curiosity, he is better off avoiding this path altogether. There is no grand reward in this journey, other than the quelling of one’s curiosity and this is the best case scenario. But, even accepting all the limitations in the journey, the question is what is the most reasonable path to truth ? It is my conviction that the reality of our lives is rooted in the Absolute Truth and hence, if there is any portal to the truth, it has to be through incisive analysis of our own lived in reality. If there is any path at all to figuring out the truth of existence, it has to be via one’s experience of existence. As an individual center of experience, each of us have the liberty to probe what might be the guiding principles behind this experience. In this process, the alignment between our experience of life and our understanding of life is the critical point and the one which makes all the difference.
Our understanding of life has to be derived from one or another cosmic narrative, but we don’t have to abide by any. We must retain the freedom to verify if any particular narrative of existence matches our experience of existence. In this verification, any cosmic narrative that does not align with our experience of life can and should be discarded like a used tissue paper. Couple of decades ago, I was associated with an organization whose members were falling off the promised path like intoxicated sailors, but the organization twisted this as a divine way of filtering out the undeserving and not an obvious flaw in the very process they swore by. This was delusion at best and manipulation at worst. I did fall for this manipulation, until it was no longer feasible and eventually discarded their narrative like an used tissue paper, it was worthless. Having discarded this particular school of thought, I kept pursuing few others and the pattern kept repeating itself.
The pattern being that there was a huge gap between the theorized version of existence and my own lived-in reality of existence. There was a lot of mental gymnastics that went in to explain this gap and make it my burden to fill it. The whole premise being that the theory is perfect and if there is any lapses, it must be in the way it is practiced. So, whenever a sane follower notices the gap between theory and practice, the often used tactic is to convince him to trust the fantasized reality and ignore his own. Just sick and twisted manipulation, nothing more and nothing less. This manipulation worked only as long as I was willing to ignore my own lived-in reality and instead trust the theorized reality and most spiritual cults count on this willingness of the followers. The only way to overcome this manipulation was to trust my own experience and observation of life.
End of the day, reality did not give a damn about the fancy delusions, it just continued to be what it is and so did my life experience. Having come to this conclusion myself, there was a part of me that was uncertain as I felt like an odd man out for doubting the very process that is held sacred by millions. Around this point in my journey, coming across the findings of U G Krishnamurthi was a huge relief, where he boldly exposes the futility of the sacred cosmic theories. It is a different story that he ends up formulating just another variation of the very theories he denounces. Credit where it is due, he does raise some valid points. For instance, in the below video, he categorically denies that the path to the Absolute Truth can be through any guru or lineage and the whole thing is a sham.
Coming to all the spiritual gurus and cults that promise the path to the Absolute Truth, their modus of operation is pretty much the same. Promise the impossible paradise and put the burden on the followers when they fail to achieve the impossible. In many ways, it is the promise of a false paradise that makes this whole circus possible in the first place. If the seekers of truth come to terms with the simple fact that such a paradise does not exist, most spiritual organizations will have no followers to scam. In the words of U G Krishnamurthi:
God or Enlightenment is the ultimate pleasure, uninterrupted happiness. No such thing exists. Your wanting something that does not exist is the root of your problem. Transformation, moksha, and all that stuff are just variations of the same theme: permanent happiness. The body can’t take uninterrupted pleasure for long; it would be destroyed. Wanting a fictitious permanent state of happiness is actually a serious neurological problem
Looking back, I wonder if it was my own stupidity that enabled me to fall for the scams of the spiritual and philosophical charlatans or it is just part of the process of eliminating crap one by one. Either ways, am glad to have arrived at my existential truth which aligns with my existential experience and there is not much of a friction between a fantasized reality and my lived-in reality. I would have to be soaked in delusion to say I have arrived at the Absolute Truth, but I am just relieved to have reconciled my experience of life and my understanding of life and this reconciliation is based on MY truth, the path for which finally ended up being a thorough examination of my own experienced reality and accepting or rejecting cosmic narratives based on this examination.
End of it all, this reconciliation is my only solace and maybe, the best one can hope for. Be aware if anyone promises anything more than this as a reward for the pursuit of truth, this should be the first red flag.
