Greedy

Arvin

2 min read

·

Jun 12, 2026

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i’m greedy for an exciting life

i think i’m greedy for it. for excitement. for moments that actually feel like something instead of just passing through me quietly

sounds dramatic, but nothingness scares me more than things going wrong

when things go wrong at least you’re in it. you’re moving. reacting. learning. you’re alive in it somehow

biggest fear is waking up years from now and realizing nothing really happened. everything was safe and predictable and i just existed inside it

so i end up leaning toward things that feel slightly too big for me. saying yes when i probably should pause. moving toward things i don’t fully understand yet

not always exciting in the moment. sometimes it’s confusion. sometimes it’s starting over. sometimes it looks like failure from the outside

but i’d rather that than numbness

because excitement isn’t just the good parts. it’s uncertainty too. it’s risk. it’s not knowing if it works out

and i think i’ve accepted that i’d rather feel everything, even the messy parts, than nothing at all

so yeahh

i’m greedy for an exciting life

not chaos

but because i don’t want to sleepwalk through something i was supposed to actually feel.

“I think I’m greedy, but I’m not greedy for money, I think it can be burden, I’m greedy for an exciting life.’

David Hockney, 1937–2026