Ada that Soluchukwu

Editor’s note: This is the most immature thing I’ve ever published. You can probably feel it from the title (and maybe the image). BUT it’s also one of the realest things I’ve published here. It should probably have stayed in my notes app but I just want to remember this time and look back and laugh at how foolish I’ve been. Enjoy!

‎My whole life, I’ve seen myself as a strong, Igbo, alpha female.

*Osondi Owendi by Chief Stephen Osita Osadebe starts playing in the background*

First Daughter, Trend Setter, Best in Maths, Group Leader, Team Head, Coordinator, Creator, Founder x2… the list goes on.

‎I love to lead, to be the main driver, to be in front, to call the shots, all of the shots.

‎I want to make all of the decisions and be proud that they are going well.

‎I want to be in front, having my next 20 steps figured out.

‎I have been so obsessed with leading that I once admitted to someone that if I am not leading a project, I might not take it seriously.

‎But here I am now, being humbled, made to follow, made to let go. I am being moulded into someone who obeys. Because every leader must first obey and must first follow.

Because every leader must first obey and must first follow.

But let’s rewind a bit…

So I started my obsessive craze of leading because I hated uncertainty. I hated looseness and waiting. I want to know the answer now, or be among the first to know. Also, I was not used to uncertainty. If something is going to happen, I would know as the first daughter. I would be told.

So when I got into secondary school, I made sure to ascertain my superiority in one way or the other :) (cough cough, through my academics)

I got to uni, and my head sparked. There were leadership roles everywhere, so many opportunities. I dived deeppp into gathering leadership experiences. Trying to make sure I led every chance I got. Lol. Everything is in vain if you are doing it to show people and not yourself.

LET GO!

• Let it all go.
• Surrender.
• Give it up.
• Break it down.
• It is not for you.
• Obey.

These words made me go “What??”

Not for me?? Then what is for me?? This has been my whole life, after all. I have done things to show people that I am worth it. I have constantly been in control.

What do you mean that I should not worry about tomorrow? Then how am I supposed to plan?

What do you mean you are in control? What do you mean I should take directions from you alone?

What do you mean that the things I think I want, I do not really want?

2025 was the year I wrote three conference papers (two accepted); organised a bootcamp; co-founded an initiative whose campaign included workshops, an IRL event, speaking engagements, and secured funding within four months; rounded up all my academic requirements for my engineering degree after 5 academic years of torture (basically graduated); became a Coordinator for female engineering students in my school; became a Fellow at a very recognised Fellowship for university students; got spotlighted in a blog by Mozilla; got invited and fully sponsored to Mozilla Festival, couldn’t go due to visa issues then got my initiative’s event spotlighted at the Festival in Barcelona, Spain; got a GitHub open source community management certificate that helped my career; got a certificate for joining a community-building cohort; met amazing people; met my literary idol (Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie), spoke to her and showed her a video we made for her; volunteered and researched to empower secondary school girls in STEM; spoke at two Google Developer Group events; spoke countless times at mostly tech events; was a host for like two events; organised several programs; visited lots of new states — you get the point.

Yet it was the year I felt the most empty.

Yet it was the year I felt the most empty.

Because I did it all without following my manual.

I did it all based on vibes. Based on what I felt was right. Based on what I found myself loving. Based on where my road led to.

But what was the road I was walking on built from? The need to impress.

*Osondi Owendi by Chief Stephen Osita Osadebe stops playing in the background*

*Asanda by Argento Dust, Kususa, and Zakes Bantwini starts playing in the background*

My life is not entertainment for an audience. My life is not a research project. My life is defined and it has a destination. And that destination has been determined by the One who made me.

So now is the time to hearken to my creator’s voice. He has been asking me to slow down, to drop it all, and to follow Him. My name, Soluchukwu, coincidentally — and literally — means “Follow God”.

Maybe this has always been the assignment: the Ada who follows her Chi—her Chukwu—before she leads.

And that’s it, all my yapping in this writing has been to tell you that to begin, you have to shut down. To build up, you have to break down. And to align properly, you have to jump out from the wrong line.

I said jump because there’s no perfect time to leave; you just jump.

There’s no perfect time to align. One day, you just hear your name called, clearly and quietly, by the line only your future self can recognize—and you answer.

You realize that there’s a clearer path if you let yourself follow it.

You give in. You follow. You become Soluchukwu.

*Asanda by Argento Dust, Kususa, and Zakes Bantwini keeps playing in the background*