(Late) Night Cuisine
On Monday, Jakarta felt unusually calm and quiet. No crowds, no traffic, just another ordinary day in the city. But this morning, protests broke out reminding us how quickly things can change. With fuel shortages, rising prices, and the haze adding to the uncertainty, it’s hard to ignore what’s happening around us. I’m not apathetic about any of it. I know there are bigger things happening beyond my own little world. But today, I want to talk about yesterday. Not the state of the country, but the state of my mind.
It started with a walk along the streets of Cipete with two of my friends. We were looking for food, craving some good Indonesian cuisine, but had absolutely no idea where to go. Luckily, one of us knew the neighborhood, so we let him take the lead.
About 200 meters later, we found ourselves near MRT Cipete Raya, with Pagi Sore just around the corner.
We ended up eating until we could barely move. Okay, that sounds a little exaggerated, but I swear it’s true. Rendang, tunjang, ayam pop, udang balado (which was ridiculously spicy), something something sayur tumbuk. I don’t even remember everything we ordered. We were just that hungry at 9 p.m.
But food was only the beginning before hopping to places.
We moved from one place to another, from Cipete to Dharmawangsa, then back to Cipete again. And somewhere along the way, between random stories and conversations that seemed to go nowhere, something kept hitting me.
The discussions were making me think. A lot. Why am I like this? Why does almost everything I hear turn into a whole reflection session in my head? Hahaha. Sorry for getting a little emotional here, but those conversations genuinely made me stop and ask myself:
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What am I even chasing for?
If there’s a place you want to visit, go there. If there’s a girl you like, be consistent and show up. If you miss your family, book a flight back to Bali and spend time with them. If your office culture is draining you, start looking for a better one.
Whatever it is, be brave enough to pursue it. Be persistent, but be honest with yourself, too. There’s no point in running in circles if you’re not making any real progress. And most importantly, don’t take shortcuts that lead you further away from where you actually want to be.
That night, we shared our mistakes, misfortunes, and stories about how life had changed us. We talked about the things we regretted, the decisions we made, and the people we had become along the way. Listening to them made me realize how easy it is to lose yourself without even noticing.
Sometimes, you start doing things because you genuinely want to. Then, somewhere along the way, the reason changes. You keep going, not because it makes you happy, but because you’ve become too invested to stop. And before you know it, you’re doing things that don’t even feel like you anymore.
I think that’s the part that scares me. I’ve been questioning some of the things I’ve been doing lately, wondering whether they actually bring me closer to the life I want or simply give me something to distract myself with. Sometimes, it’s easier to chase temporary excitement than to sit with yourself and figure out what you really need.
I don’t want to keep doing things just because they’re convenient, because everyone else seems to be doing them, or because I’m afraid of missing out. I don’t want to force myself into situations that look good on the outside but leave me feeling disconnected from who I am.
I want to learn to say no when something doesn’t feel right. To walk away when I’m no longer happy. And to say yes when something genuinely excites me, even if it takes more effort or asks me to be a little uncomfortable.
Maybe that’s what growing up looks like. Not necessarily having everything figured out, but becoming more aware of the things you choose, the reasons behind them, and the person you become because of them.
I’m still figuring things out, obviously. One late-night conversation over Indonesian food isn’t going to magically fix my life to go in the right direction hehe
