She is Mahanadi
“She did not care what came in her path. Quite rushed yet determined to finally meet her destiny. Amidst her turbulence ,she left behind a sense of serenity in the heart of those whom she met on her way back home.”
9th September 2025
The sun was setting down silently as I closed my eyes after lighting a small earthen lamp to take blessings of Lord Bimaleshwara, firmly anchored to the earth under the intricately carved roof of the leaning temple of Huma. The chirping birds started to slow down, the little calf was now beside her mother, sleeping peacefully. All the temple stalls had closed and only one could be seen lighted with a lamp where someone was slowly packing up the beautiful beaded ornaments to finally visit his home after a long busy day. I could feel the day coming to an end.
As I walked down the deserted road behind the temple, feeling the light breeze passing through my hair, I met her again at the very end of the path. I recognised her, yet something about her felt different from the way I had known her during our previous encounters. She was my new friend whom I had met yesterday.
8th September 2025, Hirakud zero point
“ I have seen you here before too”, I said. “You don’t seem to be reckless or rebellious as my friends and family mentioned about. I have visited this place twice, and each time, you seemed lost in your own thoughts, yet carried yourself with such a calm poise.”
She seemed to listen to me patiently and with a composed tone she responded, “I live here but this is not my home. I hail from the Sihawa hills, I am here to be with the people living here, to help them, to work with them. But they don’t always seem very happy with me. Perhaps my naivety led me to make mistakes, and that is why they were upset with me in the beginning.”
“So how are things now?”
“Things are quite better now, I have changed as per their needs. I cannot always react impulsively. I have realised that when I hold myself back, people seem to like me more. They work with me, come to meet me, and I feel connected to them. But the more I hold on to my dreams and my true self, the harder it becomes to remain the same. I travelled so far from my home to see the world. I feel that I am so close to my destiny, to a place where I might finally belong. And yet, I find myself in a dilemma. Is this my final destination? Is this where my journey ends? Or there is yet to discover more. Someday, I want to get dissolved in this vastness that I can finally be myself.”
She paused for a moment, watching the water move past the rocks. I sat beside her, listening, gently playing with the soft waves as they brushed against my fingers, making a soothing, bubbling sound against the rocks.
Get Bipasa Koch’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
“I am pretty sure that I will get my answer soon.” she ended.
9th September 2025, 7 pm
I stood there silently, not in a position to interrupt her any further. The calmness that she always held on to seemed to have disappeared. There was a sense of rush, an overwhelming need to release something she had carried heavily within herself for so long. It was as though everything she had held back was abruptly rushing out, and even she did not know where it would all lead.
“I am going to see the world.” she murmured suddenly. “I am going to meet a lot more people and make friends on my way. I can not tell you how overjoyed I am to set myself out for an exciting journey ahead. It was lovely meeting you, I will remember you, my friend.”
And without waiting for another word she rushed towards a journey whose path even she could not know. She simply followed wherever her fate lead her to at each point of her journey.
This restlessness will come and go while she search for her destiny. And when she finally reaches the vastness she had longed for, it will dissolve her into a new identity. She would no longer be the one she was before as she will completely forget all the sorrow and grief that she once had here. She might encounter countless challenges along the way, but would she ever doubt herself again? Never. And when she returns to her home in Sihawa hills, carrying a new form of herself, her experiences would become a guiding light for those she had left behind. They too, will travel far from their home until they get dissolved in themselves.
I may not recognise her when she returns, but she will remember all those whom she met on her journey. Why? Because she is carrying a part of us with her: our emotions, our belongings, our stories that we had shared with her which is going along with her journey from home to destiny and her way back home. Yes, she will remember me because She is Mahanadi.
“I heard the river rushing before me,
quite scared to step foot ahead
and let the flow pass by me.
It had lost its softness and poise,
Yet something in its turbulence called me near.
As I descended the steps,
The mighty waves crashed against my anchored feet.
With a grip firm enough to withstand the force,
I gathered the courage to move a little further in.
The sound still soothed my ears and mind,
As I watched the twigs and fragments
It carried fiercely along its way.
And somewhere amidst its restless currents,
I found myself surrendering to the flow,
Dissolving into the vastness of the Sorrow of Odisha
That travelled alongside me.”
