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The Other Side of Forgiveness
Before my sister died, we were estranged. Over a decade of her alcohol abuse pushed us farther and farther apart.
During my Bible studies, I often came across verses urging me to forgive others, no matter what. My sister always came to mind. I tried to forgive her. I even thought I had.
But God kept warning me about the flip side of that coin. I needed to ask her for forgiveness.
I remember thinking that I had nothing to be forgiven for in that relationship. She’d hurt me again and again. I had tried to help her many times, only to be slapped away.
Forgiveness is a funny thing though. We humans are so flawed that there is almost never a time when one party in a dispute is 100% to blame. The problem may lie 99% in the hands of one person, but that 1% of resentment or righteous indignation or pride or stubbornness, even hatred, remains with the other.
When my sister died, my anger dissipated, and I could finally see my failures regarding our relationship. She had been so lonely, so broken, and in so much pain. She couldn’t express it, but she needed me to care. She wanted me to keep trying, but I gave up. I chose to protect myself instead of staying available and vulnerable and trusting God to protect me.
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who…
