Are You Really Enough?
Ending the Debate on Your Self-Worth
You decide to journal to clear your mind.
A self-help book you just finished reading told you that writing your feelings out could clear your mind. It also told you to remind yourself that “You are enough” no matter what.
You pause at that, not sure if you believe it. You want to, but you can’t convince yourself. In your hesitation, you stare at the words you’ve written.
Your eyes glance over to the left side of the notebook. There, in your own handwriting, is the to-do list you copied over from yesterday. You skim the list.
Call Mom back
Still not crossed out.
Maybe you do have room for improvement.
Here’s the problem: right after you’re told to remind yourself of your “value” as a person, you’re exposed to people who are doing “better” than you.
Your friend just posted pictures from their trip to Europe.
Your coworker just got a new car.
That couple from school just got married and has a kid on the way. They look happy.
So which is it?
The underlying issue here is that these two ideas aren’t actually in conflict. They answer different questions. “You are enough” is about your worth as a human and “You could be better” is about your direction.
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When you mistake one for the other, you feel the contradiction. Neither one should cancel out the other.
The truth is, we should always live our lives in the pursuit of becoming better. Conscious, honest effort in an upward direction is what makes you enough. It’s what makes you a human participating in society, and you have a moral obligation to play your part.
“Becoming better” is an unspecific term, and for good reason. We live wildly different lives from each other, and an upward trajectory looks different for all of us.
Your path to growth could be anything. It could be working to be a better dad. It could be going to the gym more and actually caring about what you eat. Maybe you finally work up to having that conversation with your wife, or actually dedicate some time to applying to jobs so you can leave that stagnant position you detest. Maybe you finally take the risk to start that business.
And there’s good news.
It’s shockingly easy to figure out what to do. You probably already know what it is.
If you don’t, here’s the exercise. Find a quiet place to sit and close your eyes. Ask yourself one simple question and give yourself an absolutely honest answer.
Dr. Jordan Peterson said it so well that I don’t even have to reword it.
“What’s one thing I’m doing wrong, that I know I’m doing wrong? That I could fix. That I would fix.”
You’ll get an answer. You probably won’t like it, but you’ll know what you have to do.
I challenge you to try it. Seriously.
Deep down (or actually not even that deep), we know what we have to do. That means your only responsibility is to be honest enough with yourself to realize what it is, and brave enough to take the first step.
It’s a lot, but it’s enough.
I post more like this on X — @Charlie_vgd
