The One Major Reason Why Marriage Collapse and Leads to Divorce in the Ghanaian Community — Bright Mensah

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Every marriage has its own load of issues. What works for someone in his or her marriage might not work for another. I’m not here to teach people how to love, and I’m definitely not here to throw shades on how anyone should make their marriage last long. After all, your love language might be different from Kweku or Kojo.

But there is something we cannot ignore — respect.

Every man, in one way or another, sees respect from a woman as love. Ladies also deserve respect, of course, but for many women, affection is what truly feels like love. This difference alone can already create a gap if it is not understood.

Over the past years, I have quietly paid attention and done a lot of behind-the-scenes observations about why many marriages in our Ghanaian communities break down. There are many reasons — disrespect, lack of financial capacity, lack of peace of mind, and more. But among all these, one issue keeps showing up again and again. It is something people don’t like to talk about openly.

Lack of physical intimacy

In many of the marriages we see today, something feels off. It’s almost like marriages are being treated like ordinary relationships, while people in relationships are acting like they are already married. The lines are becoming blurred. But marriage is different — it carries a deeper level of connection.

The moment you enter marriage, there is something that makes it more complete and meaningful, and that is physical intimacy. Yes, there are other forms of intimacy like emotional connection, communication, trust, and security. All these matter. But physical intimacy holds a unique place.

We are talking about simple but powerful things — hugging, kissing, and sex.

These are not just physical acts. They are expressions of closeness, unity, and reassurance.

Even the Bible makes this clear. In Genesis 2:24, it says a man and a woman become “one flesh.” This is not just symbolic — it includes physical union. It is part of the design of marriage. So when that unity is missing, the marriage becomes vulnerable, and that’s when negative influences begin to find their way in.

Now, here is where the real problem starts.

In many homes, husbands and wives deny each other physical intimacy. Sometimes it is done intentionally, sometimes unconsciously. It becomes a tool for punishment, or a way of expressing anger. In some cases, one partner feels like they are doing the other a favour by being intimate.

But over time, this creates a serious crack in the foundation of the marriage.

Frustration builds. Distance grows.

In some situations, this continuous denial pushes husbands to look outside the marriage for satisfaction. On the other hand, some wives may only open up when they feel like it, without considering the emotional needs of their partners. When one person sees intimacy as a way to feel loved and secure, and the other treats it as something optional or separate from emotions, conflict is inevitable.

And when conflict is left unresolved, it slowly leads to something bigger — disconnection, resentment, and eventually, divorce.

Ironically, the same thing that is often withheld — physical intimacy — is one of the strongest tools for resolving conflict in marriage. It has a way of softening hearts, restoring connection, and bringing couples back together.

Yet, many ignore it until it is too late.

There are even cases where marriages have completely broken down, and outsiders — what people call “side chicks” — end up playing roles that should have been fulfilled within the marriage.

It is a difficult truth, but it needs to be said.

At the end of the day, many factors can break a marriage. But from what I have seen, lack of physical intimacy remains one of the most silent but powerful reasons marriages collapse in our Ghanaian communities.

And until it is addressed openly and honestly, the cycle will continue to grow, that is the root of the divorce in our community.