Yellow
I realised I’m specifically drawn to the color yellow.
Yellow lights in my room. Sunflowers.
Funny enough I hate the color itself. I think of yellow and all I can imagine is vomit. But Yellow. My friend likes.
Reminds me of that last second of a fever dream when you run through a field of flowers with that one faceless man.
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Every wait in front of a traffic signal where you look beside you and see someone and think “Did I know him in the past life?”
Yellow being the symbol of positivity and the color of light. Yellow that disgusts me. It follows me everywhere like a moth to light.
Why do I hate it so much anyways? Is it because it gives that false hope that everything is alright and relaxes you just enough to sting you on the back like a honey bee? Maybe.
Maybe it stems from insecurity and makeup where tanned skin is beautiful to some and questionable to others. Yellow reminds me of dusty saturday afternoons in a roadside cart of vendor selling empty tender coconut drinks and lost dreams with it.
Yellow, the color of all those undecided career choices why do you battle to be beautiful? Why do you remind me of sunflowers and church bells and hope?
Pick a side, Yellow. Who are you?
