Feeling invisible as a carer by Sue Jackson

Alyson Norman

3 min read

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Jun 9, 2026

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A few years ago, the theme for carers week was ‘visible, valued and supported’. As an unpaid carer for my husband that’s not how I feel at all. In fact, thanks to the way I get treated by healthcare professionals, statutory services, and other people involved in my husband’s care there are times when I honestly feel I have more in common with the bin in his room than I do with other human beings. I do appreciate how that sounds, but bear with me as we unpick it a little, starting with my description of how I see bins being treated.

• Bins are unglamorous, workaday objects that we take for granted. We don’t invest anything in them, and it’s a rare bin that gets treated with kindness, care, and consideration.
• You expect a bin to be there when you need it, whenever you need it, day or night, rain or shine.
• You assume that you know what a bin is for, the kinds of things you can use it for, but you wouldn’t ask for either its opinion or its permission.
• You don’t expect a bin to comment on your antics or to ask questions about what you’re doing and why.
• You assume that a bin is up to the job, that it won’t get sick, need a coffee, or loo break, respite or a holiday.
• A bin is a frequently ignored source of very useful information about the occupant(s) of a space.

So, what happens if we replace the word ‘bin’ with the word ‘carer’ in the above statements?

• Carers are unglamorous, workaday individuals that we take for granted. We don’t invest anything in them, and it’s a rare carer that gets treated with kindness, care, and consideration.
• You expect the carer to be there when you need them, whenever you need them, day or night, rain or shine.
• You assume that you know what a carer is capable of, the kinds of things they can be used for, but you wouldn’t ask for either their opinion or permission.
• You don’t expect a carer to comment on your antics or to ask questions about what you’re doing and why.
• You assume that the carer is up to the job, that they won’t get sick, need a coffee, or loo break, respite or a holiday.
• A carer is a frequently ignored source of very useful information about the occupant(s) of a space.

That substitution of carer for bin shouldn’t work; after all I’m a person, not an object. My experience suggests that as an unpaid carer, I’m not visible, valued and supported rather I am invisible, disregarded, and mistreated. Building carer friendly communities, means first acknowledging the carers. It doesn’t take much for you to find yourself in the position of having to provide care. If you don’t want to find yourself being treated more like a bin than a person, help us improve support for families who have to provide care to loved ones.