Phone Call With Covert Narcissist Ex
The gig, party, venue — whatever you want to call it where my covert narcissist ex was booked to sing was a week ago. For obvious reasons I was not there as I don’t want to fly to other side of the country to have terrible evening and pay for it. He was not the main act or only singer/band there. Luckily. As next day I saw multiple videos at my Facebook feed from there, but none of my ex. I did saw his bass player singing his songs. I messaged to Manuel and asked did my CN ex ghosted them? He said that CN was there, but he started drinking day before and his singing was so bad that people asked him to get off stage. He did, and Manuel was singing rest of the songs or the whole gig. I don’t know as I was not there. He said, it would be good if you would talk with CN. And I was like ok. CN has always made sure he handles his gigs well, no matter what he did before it. This was the first time he was in such a bad state that he could not sing. So I called him and it went like this:
Me: Hello. I asked Manuel what happened yesterday and he told me that you left the stage, because you were too drunk or high to sing properly. What happened? Why did you do that? Are you ok? What did you drink, Mezcal?
CN: Hello, well we had not eaten well. No, beers and alcohol mixed. I haven’t done drugs in long time.
Me: You could have stop drinking day before.
CN: It was just one night.
Me: Soon no one will book you. If I would be you, I would apologize in public and promise it won’t happen again.
Silence.
CN: I have been focusing on working in GDL at my friends restaurant and this was not representation what I am today.
Me: Well, that is the representation that you gave of yourself yesterday. So you are in GDL. Are you staying with your mother?
CN: Yes, but I will come back at the end of the month to work in new restaurant that my other friends is opening. I could come to see you.
Me: I am still angry that you did not tell me about the dog. Donny lied to me about it and I asked you multiple times how the dog is doing. I did not know what happened to it. Why did you not tell me that it is dead?
CN: I don’t remember what state of mind I was at that time.
Me: Obviously same as yesterday.
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CN: The construction workers left the gate open, she ran out and got hit by car.
Me. Things happen, but you should have told me. I had to ask other people about it to find out.
CN: I am also planning to do the record.
Me: Oh, who is going to back up you?
CN: I don’t know yet, but I have almost all songs ready. I gotta go to catch the bus. I will call you back when I am there.
Me: Ok. Go.
I got message that said “The bus is cancelled. It’s been a bad weekend.”
Me: It seems so. When is the next one?
CN: Tomorrow the same time. The promoter does not answer me.
Me: Call Manuel. Let me know how it goes.
And after that I did not hear from him.
As you can see this is what CN does, nothing was his fault and if it was it was not a big deal, everything that happened was an accident and he had nothing to do with it, things are not how they seem to be and he is changed man, even when all the evidence tell that he is even worse than before. He did not keep his promise to call or message me, or bothered to do so. He said he wanted to see me, but I cannot think of any reason to see him. I would probably wait for nothing when he would not show up at all. And I have no interest to get involved his never ending shit show again. As far as I know he is still doing the same, circulating women and going to whoever takes him back and benefits him most.
He also knows that I wanted him to do a record, because it is 14 years since the last one. I offered him multiple chances to do it, but he always refused and made excuses. A famous guitarist offered to back up him at the record, he said no. Best vintage studio in Europe would have given him huge discount and he said no. I offered him studio with his own local Mexican backup band, he said he wanted his old band from USA and his friends studio. So I gave up. Now he brought it up like he would actually do it. I don’t think he even has the songs ready as he claimed. I think he lied to me, just to impress me with more empty promises. I unfortunately know him.
Nothing has changed. The only thing that has changed is me. I called him to tell him what he did wrong, in case he did not understand it. I even told him how to fix it, but he did not apologize anyone. Not even me. Instead he left me again hanging, without me knowing what is happening. I am not playing this game anymore. I am not going to get worried about a man who does not care about me or my feelings. Who has no problem to leave me waiting for nothing in uncertainty.
I would have thought that he would have at least have performed well at the gig for others like usual, show that he is doing well and he is happy without me. But sabotaging his own gig was new to me and I think it shows that if he ruins the only things he is good at, he has no control anymore of himself. Or should I say even less than he had before. I said to Manuel that I think he is beyond repair and needs therapist, rehab and exorcist. He asked me how come exorcist and I said he has entities attached to him and I have seen them. Some might say demons. I was never afraid of them and I think I brought some kind of balance and stability to CN’s life. He doesn’t have got it anymore. I was the glue that kept it all together while he was investing in other women behind my back. The bad things override any happy moments I thought I had with him. I am not blind anymore. I know that he never cared about me. No one who does, cannot do things he has done. And he was ready to do it all over again. So his is back being blocked. Again.
