Why Are We So Bad at Having Hobbies?
On perfectionism, pointless joy, and why everything doesn’t need an outcome.
I have a question for you. What do you do for fun?
Before you answer, a few rules. Your job doesn’t count. Your business definitely doesn’t count. Going to the gym for a specific goal is questionable. Reading 40 books this year because Goodreads has become your line manager? Also questionable.
And if you’ve taken something you enjoy, made an Instagram account for it, bought the domain name, and are now weighing three pricing tiers… Babe, We need to talk.
I’m not asking what you’re productive at, what you’re good at, or what you’re building. I’m asking what you do for absolutely no reason other than that you enjoy it. And do you actually have an answer?
We’re desperately searching for ways to have fun again
Something interesting is happening right now. Google reported that searches for “how to digital detox” rose 110% since the start of 2026, and run clubs and walking clubs are hitting record interest. So the internet is increasingly being used to ask: how do I get off the internet?
Objectively hilarious. But also telling.
Pinterest’s 2026 hobbies report found that 51% of Gen Z respondents say having a hobby contributes to their joy, with growing interest in journaling, scrapbooking, pottery, and gardening. Michaels saw searches for analog hobbies like knitting, embroidery, and painting rise 136% in six months.
We’re looking for things to make, to touch, to do together. Things that have nothing to do with another screen.
Meanwhile, a 2026 meta-analysis of 307 samples and over 82,000 university students found that perfectionism has increased over 35 years, particularly the kind tied to fear of mistakes and other people’s evaluation. Different datasets, different populations, so I won’t pretend they form one neat causal story.
But side by side, the cultural picture fascinates me. We’re getting more perfectionistic while desperately searching for hobbies. Maybe we’re not just looking for something to do. Maybe we’re looking for somewhere in our lives where we don’t have to perform.
We managed to optimize leisure, too
Look at what we’ve done to free time. Walking became step counts. Running became pace. Reading became annual targets. Meditation became streaks. Painting became an Instagram account, pottery an Etsy shop, cooking became content.
I’m not telling you to throw your phone in a lake and take up basket weaving, although honestly, basket weaving sounds relaxing. Technology is brilliant. It lets me make a podcast people in other countries listen to. I don’t think we want less technology. I think we want more of our lives back.
Because at some point, we took everything we used to do to escape performance and started measuring our performance in it. When you’re ambitious, this gets especially sneaky. You start watercolor painting, and instead of just painting, your brain asks: what supplies should I buy? Should I take a course? Could I sell these? Should I create a brand identity?
Put Canva down. Your watercolor does not need a strategy.
Sometimes the thing is the point
Psychology has a very unsexy term for this: intrinsic motivation. Doing something because the activity itself is rewarding. Not for money, compliments, certificates, or personal branding. The reward lives inside the experience.
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Self-Determination Theory has spent decades exploring how autonomy and competence relate to motivation and wellbeing. Humans naturally explore, play, make things, and get curious. We don’t always need a deliverable.
There’s also research on everyday creativity. One study followed 658 young adults over 13 days and found that on days when people did more creative activity than usual, they reported more positive emotion and flourishing the next day.
That doesn’t mean one wonky scarf cures depression. Please don’t tell your therapist I prescribed macramé. But maybe sometimes what helps us isn’t improvement. Maybe it’s participation.
Being a beginner can feel strangely threatening
If competence is part of your identity, being visibly mediocre is uncomfortable. If you’re normally the knower, the fixer, the reliable one, then your first painting looking terrible, or your mug turning into an ashtray, can sting more than it should.
And now almost everything has an audience. Even if you never post your hobby, you know what good looks like. You can open TikTok and within twelve seconds find someone who appears to have been crocheting since birth. Suddenly your little square looks sad.
But maybe being bad at something isn’t a problem to solve. Maybe it’s part of the value. Perfectionism doesn’t stay at work. Eventually it follows you into the places you went to escape performance.
Try something and don’t turn it into anything
I won’t give you seven steps to the perfect hobby routine. That would miss the entire point.
Instead, choose one thing this week that you’re deliberately not going to optimize. Take a walk without tracking it. Read without logging the book. Cook without photographing it. Paint badly. Sing in your kitchen. Sit in a café without your laptop. Buy the cheap watercolor set instead of spending six weeks researching whether you’re ready to become Van Gogh.
Then notice what happens inside you. You might enjoy it. You might also feel uncomfortable. I should be doing something. This is a waste of time. What’s the point?
If those thoughts show up, don’t rush to fix them. Get curious. Ask yourself: when did I learn that enjoyment wasn’t enough?
Because maybe we’re not desperate for hobbies. Maybe we’re desperate for places where we’re allowed to exist without being evaluated.
I think you need something you’re mediocre at. Something you occasionally forget to do. Something nobody needs from you, that doesn’t make you more impressive or profitable, and simply makes your Tuesday nicer.
Maybe that’s enough. Maybe that’s the entire point.
🎙️ This essay is based on my WithGen Podcast episode, “Why Are We So Bad at Having Hobbies?” If it hit a nerve, listen to the full episode, then come tell me what you do purely because you enjoy it. And if your answer is “I don’t know,” try this instead: what would you like to try if you knew you never had to become good at it?
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Until next time: keep going, but softer. Love you. Bye! ❤️
