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What’s all this fuss about birthdays, anyway?
Today I saw an article about how birthdays can be depressing. The author, aging solo, had just gotten some disappointing news from her medical checkup. And she was sad about getting older. She was disappointed not to feel happier.
She’s not alone. Within the last year, I’ve seen countless articles from single people who feel lonely on their birthdays. Nobody called. They got just one card. They felt nobody cared.
Birthdays, like holidays, are cultural constructs with cultural baggage from greeting cards to Norman Rockwell paintings. Too often we see them instead as symbols of caring and connection. Some cultures specifically forbid birthday celebrations.
Some celebrate a person’s name day: the saint after whom they were named. So if your name were Andrew or Andrea you’d probably celebrate St. Andrew’s Day, not the day you were born. I rather like that idea: it calls attention to something outside ourselves.
But in some cultures and some families, a birthday can come with a sense that something is owed to them: a day of feeling special. It’s the same feeling as Thanksgiving and Christmas: “I deserve to have a holiday surrounded by loving people who feel I’m part of their community.”
The truth: Many people are alone on holidays and birthdays.
