The body i live in is not my enemy.
Ever since i was little , i was bullied because of my body .
I felt like i had to lose weight so i wouldn’t look like this relative or that one.
The image of what i might become used to scare me , and that fear pushed me to do everything i could not to turn into that person .
I used to overexercise for two hour after eating large amounts of food , food i craved after depriving myself of meals for long periods .
I would eat until i hated myself , and then i’d live in a loop .. repeating the behavior , repeating the self-hatred .
I didn’t know how to get myself out of it , i kept wondering if there would ever be a day when i’d finally be free .
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But after years of struggling , the one thing i thank myself for is that i didn’t give up , i didn’t accept that life for myself .
I realized that what my body truly needed was compassion and love , while what i had been giving it was criticism, hatred , and harshness .
My body has been with me through every stage of my life , even through i was unfair to it for years , it kept trying to heal , to stay strong , and that’s something i was blind to , something i forgot to thank god for .
That’s why , even through critical and hateful thoughts still visit me from time to time , like they do with any human , what helps me now is reminding myself : these are just thoughts , not my truth .
I choose to acknowledge and appreciate everything i do for my body .
I focus on getting 1% better every day , sometimes improvement simply means saying one kind word to myself and to my body that day , and i thank god for my body , for all the life-sustaining processes happening inside me that i’m not even aware of .
Your body needs you to be with it , not against it , to love it , to hold it gently , to appreciate it ..
