The Trap
Journal Entry
Over the past few weeks, I entered into a different area of my life that I am still trying to figure out and grasp correctly. For those of you that know me, life is a little chaotic and demanding on me. I have no idea what my future holds.
I know that is a little vague and dramatic, this has nothing to do with health or with my relationships in life. But believe me, uncertainty can lie in other areas.
Like any good strategist, you always plan ahead for things. I’m an operations guy, I know all about planning and embracing flexibility in my life. That doesn’t mean I am always happy when change occurs and it might take a moment or three for me to adjust, but I do adjust. Happily so or not.
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I write to help me unfocus from my daily life, to share what my mind creates, and hopefully earn a little money in the process. That last part is difficult, I admit. I’m to blame for that as I am not a very engaging person online, or in person for that matter. I stay focused on tasks. Everything else is color in my black and white world. It distracts from what is happening and what has to happen.
I found a new avenue that I can use my analytic operational mind towards and get compensation from it for my efforts. Same energy as my writing, same purpose: distraction. Far greater reward instantly.
My books were going to be a slow burn. I know this. Ten years from now, I expect to earn tens of dollars from those that discover me. And that might still be true as I enter into my retirement years. I’ll keep writing, I’ll keep sharing my creativity (wish I did this years ago), probably until the day my fingers tell me “enough with the typing.”
But this new distraction is interesting. I see the trap plainly, money now to stay engaged. Money now instead of later. There is only so much time in a day and I fear the choice I am making is going to delay my passion to share things with the world.
I’m still writing, but not at the pace I was. Maybe that is good, there is a lot of pressure to make a follow up novel better than the first novel. I have a lot of work to do. But, it might be a little later than I care for.
And for that, I apologize. The trap has sprung and I am now firmly stuck in it.
