Biased Review : Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing
It began when I was in seventh grade — 13 years old, no mustache or Adam’s apple, no knowledge of sex, relationships, or friendships. That’s when my friend insisted I watch a show — something his big sister used to watch. And now, like an insect jumping from one host to another, the obsession was transferring from her to me.
Maybe that’s what this show does — you recommend it to someone, and soon, they know more about it than you do. That show was Friends.
I’ve been hooked ever since. Whether it was a bad school day or a great celebration, Friends became my escape. Sure, it’s about six good-looking twenty-somethings in New York, but for me, the most human character was always Chandler Bing. Hopeless, awkward, desperate for love — perhaps not the most celebrated qualities in a man, but Matthew Perry portrayed them to perfection. Maybe because, in many ways, Chandler Bing was Matthew Perry.
Why This Is a Biased Review
It’s hard for me to put into words how much I love Friends and Chandler Bing. Maybe that’s why I’m writing this — because I need to. Maybe no one cares, but that doesn’t matter.
Like so many others, I learned more English from this show than from any teacher in school. My love for U2 started with Ross and Rachel’s breakup. Friends taught me about American culture and how to talk to girls. It created a blueprint in my mind for what friendships should be — people who stand by you no matter what. A bad breakup? Losing your job? Parents getting divorced? Your friends lift you up.
I call this a biased review because my love for Friends makes it impossible to be objective. I don’t just admire Chandler Bing — I feel like I know him.
The Book
For me, Chandler Bing provided a sense of relief. He wasn’t the most attractive, the wealthiest, or the guy with the perfect family. He wasn’t a victim either — he handled insults with sarcasm. That’s exactly who Matthew Perry was. His parents divorced, leaving him a lonely child shuffling between Montreal and LA, growing up with no real sense of home.
Perry frequently mentions his troubled childhood — the absence of his parents, his struggles with school, his awkwardness with girls. And when love, friendship, and family are missing, many people turn to show business. That’s exactly what he did.
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He landed Friends at the very last moment. Initially tied to another project (LAX 2194, a show about baggage handlers in the year 2194 — yes, really), he wasn’t even supposed to audition. But thank God that show never took off, and Perry nailed his audition for Chandler Bing.
It was unbelievable to learn that while I was laughing through all ten seasons, Matthew Perry was battling addiction. He fluctuated between 50 kg and 80 kg over the years. He writes that if he looks bloated in an episode, he was probably on OxyContin. If he looks thin and frail, it was probably 50 cigarettes a day.
And yet, none of it was apparent when he played Chandler. He lived through the character, fighting his demons every day on set.
What made Perry special was that he didn’t try to be funny. He was funny. He didn’t need top-tier comedic skills — he simply was Chandler Bing. His ability to twist a simple sentence into a punchline, his iconic Could it BE any more… catchphrase — these became ingrained in pop culture.
He always felt the need to be the funniest person in the room. He writes about how he would plan jokes to make Jennifer Aniston laugh — his longtime crush — but would be sweating and trembling with nerves if they didn’t land.
Throughout the book, he is brutally honest. He doesn’t shy away from admitting that he was high on set. He quotes Robert Downey Jr. on addiction:
It’s like having a gun in your mouth, with your finger on the trigger, and you like the taste of metal.
He acknowledges how he smuggled drugs into rehab, how he lost relationships, and how addiction nearly killed him.
I’ll Be There For You
There’s almost no chance that my future kids’ first crush won’t be Monica, Rachel, or Phoebe. They’ll probably grow up watching Friends — even if they don’t understand it at first. And I’ll be sitting next to them, laughing at the same Chandler Bing jokes for the 236th time, with the same joy as the first.
It was difficult for me to comprehend the news of Matthew’s death. He taught me more about love, friendship, and the ability of laughing at yourself when others criticize than anyone else.
For me, Ross, Rachel, Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and especially Chandler will last a lifetime.
