My Readers’ Most Commonly Misheard Song Lyrics

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In my previous blog, I explained that the term ‘mondegreen’ is used to describe a lyric from a song (or poem) that is famously or embarrassingly misheard.

At the end of the blog, I asked readers to send me examples of their own — and I received some absolute belters. Here are my favourites.

1. Original lyric:

‘Shoot that poison arrow to my heart.’ (Poison Arrow — ABC)

Mondegreen: ‘Shoot the boys in our road through the heart.’

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2. Original lyric:

‘Keeper of holy hordes.’ (Ghost Of Perdition — Opeth)

Mondegreen: ‘Keeper of Oreos.’

(*This mondegreen is made all the more hilarious by the fact that Opeth’s vocalist delivers this line in an almost inconceivably demonic tone. And now I can’t unhear it. As if he’s challenging the hellishly sinister proprietor of a super market or bakery to a fight to the death)

3. Original lyric:

‘Constant craving’ (Constant Craving — K.D.Lang)

Mondegreen: ‘God’s great gravy.’ (seriously)

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4. Original lyric:

‘Obey your master, master.’ (Master Of Puppets — Metallica)

Mondegreen: ‘I’ll pay your mustard, bastard.’

5. Original lyric:

‘You can’t outrun the long arm of the law.’ (Kenny Rogers — The Long Arm Of The Law)

Mondegreen: ‘You can’t outrun the lawn mower on the lawn’.

6. Original lyric:

‘Call me when you try to wake her up.’ (The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonight — REM)

Mondegreen: ‘Cupboard in Jamaica’

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7. Original lyric:

‘Not bad, for a pasty-faced white boy’ (Get The Funk Out — Extreme)

Mondegreen: ‘Not bad, for a Mississippi whiteboard.’

8. Original lyric:

‘Everything you believed is a lie, everyone you loved is a death burden.’ (The Baying Of The Hounds — Opeth)

Mondegreen: ‘Everything you believed is a lie, everyone you loved is a dead bird.’

Thank you to all my friends and followers for these awesome misheard lyrics — and while some are quite understandable mondegreens, some compel me to urge certain contributors to arrange a hearing test ASAP.

If you want to read more of my blogs on music — take a look at this one.