What I wouldn’t do if I was a billionaire
‘What would you do if you didn’t have to worry about money ever again?’
Well that’s easy. I’d just follow the Formula 1. And I don’t mean via a screen the size of my billionaires mansion wall, I mean get on my private jet and fly around the world catching each race in it’s respective country. Because hey, I’m a billionaire.
Of course I wouldn’t do that alone or with my hired crew of hench and yes men, it would be with a core group of friends with an interest in the sport ranging from ‘passing’ to ‘I’m so deep I can’t get this KERS system out of my blood and I don’t think I really want to either.’ My deal would be simple too — come for one or as many races as you can handle. Just make sure your passport is up to date and I don’t have to send someone to the airport to help you clear customs for simple reasons. Annnnnd that’s it. I’ve got everything else because you know it, I’m a billionaire.
The food and drink, pit passes and accommodation, transport and flights, best seats at the race, don’t sweat it, I got this. Book some much needed time off work, I’ll pay your rents, just come and hang out with me as we swing by the Mercedes pits and wave excitedly at Toto Wolf. After the race we’ll discuss the day over the finest local meal we can find. Then you can fly home the next day if you choose or continue to explore where we are for the rest of the week until it’s time to jump back into the jet for the next race. Short stay or long stay, I appreciate you hanging out with me because something something, billionaire.
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What I wouldn’t do however as the world’s newest 30 something year old billionaire is buy myself a political puppet to try and influence the way a country is run so that I can pay the people who made me a billionaire far less and possibly make myself more of a billionaire than I was yesterday. Because while I had some pretty average scores across the world of math back in high school, even I figured out this rudimentary equation: even if I paid my workers more = I’d still be stinking rich.
But here we are in my home country where a political candidate (no so) secretly funded by a billionaire is urging us to go and fight for the great ‘Merican pumpkin even though we have nothing to do with his war and any given day he’s either begging for help or denying he needs a hand. ‘We’re practically done’ he spews on a social media platform no one is buying but the bowser price and general chaos he’s caused points out with crystal clarity that it’s not the case, not even close. Yes it seems this other billionaire is keen to have some Trumpet style politics in play across the country and Miss Puppet is more than happy to spruik that we need to get our hands dirty on her dime, even though her message is about putting this country first.
First in the firing line? You absolute idiot.
Look I know as a billionaire, I shouldn’t be worried about this. Regardless of how much petrol rises, I’m fine. Someone else fills up my tanks anyway. But let’s circle back to my f1 squad who aren’t billionaires (yet) who have to deal with this shit when they come back home, memories of a great trip around the world quickly eroded by the current state of play. I care for my friends and family, I care for my country, I do not care for some deranged lunatic that other deranged lunatics voted for who somehow makes greedy billionaires even more so.
I just want to watch cars racing around, in a world that happily keeps on revolving without the greedy manipulating the stupid who in turn is trying to manipulate the stupid as well, telling us to put the country first…by helping some clown who should know better from a complete other country.
That billionaire should know better. Maybe she just needs to take some time out and watch Sergio Perez and Lando Norris do their thing.
-Rex the future billionaire, out.
