Gross
A short-short story
Even though I live two doors away, I can smell him.
Today, when I heard him moan, I tried to ignore it but I had to try to help.
He murmured, “It’s nothing.”
But he coughed and dropped his cup. I didn’t know old people used sippy cups.
“Pick up my spill-proof cup.” (I guess he didn’t want to say “sippy cup.”)
“Yes, sir.” I handed it to him and sped toward the door.
“You want me to teach you something they won’t teach you in school?”
Get Marty Nemko’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
I shrugged.
“Shoplifting is good.”
“What?”
“Yeah, you’re stealing, but you’re taking from the rich.”
“But what if everyone stole?”
“In one way or another, most people steal. And that’s fair. If you were born smart, you’ll do well even though you didn’t earn being smart. If you were born to rich parents, you’ll have a leg up even though you didn’t earn that. You were probably born poor, so you’re pretty much fucked. And haven’t you cheated on a test by copying a smart kid’s answers? That’s stealing, but it makes up for us being born poor and maybe dumb.”
I didn’t know what to say — I’m only 13 — so I just said, “I see.”
“Come back and I’ll teach you other things they won’t teach you in school.”
After I left, I thought, “He’s crazy and he’s wrong…maybe. But I am never coming back.”
I read this aloud on YouTube.
Marty Nemko is a career and personal coach, and author of 36 books including A Dose of Reality and Thought Experiments. You can reach him at mnemko@gmail.com
