Member-only story
The Knot.
So, my therapist noticed this knot in my head , that is stopping me from going forward!
However , the knot is small in front of Allah! Allah will Help me in the unwinding of the knot.
The knot wants me to protect from pain so it keeps me numb with food and money.
And when they finish the knot hurts, inside the head.
https://medium.com/@naumasyed/910b22650859?sk=358ebcf3015e44abeaecda3d58628582
Reminding me tht nauma isn't good enough. Shes worth hating. Shes evil and cant be forgiven.
Iv been living with this self hatred all my life. Looking for love in the wrong places.
When love was in my heart all this time. It was Allahs love for me. The love he has for his every creation.
I was unprotected and He Protected me. He Helped me survive an abusive marriage for 8 yrs. Blessed me with an adorable son who never bugged me growing up as a child.
But the pain of having an abusive husband , along with the pain of the knot in my head was hurting me alot so I had to end the marriage. And leave my son...
I never abandoned him. But I cdnt revisit and when he'd come id either be numb or too hyper and tht lead to confusion for my son.
Maybe thats the reason why he has stopped talking to me :(
Now the pain of the knot and the pain of missing my son is hurting me inside and I have asked Allah to Heal it.
But maybe this is my test in this world. Or maybe there's divine timing! Only Allah Knows Best!
