Practice honest speech
There I was arriving at a bus-stop to catch the morning bus.
A lady was already waiting there, waiting for the same bus I guess.
- Good morning! she said.
I, not thinking much of it at the time, just gave an affirming nod in response. And it seemed the most normal thing.
Except, it wasn´t. It wasn´t a good a good morning at all. It was cold and the rain swamped the world in chilly wet nothingness.
If only she had had the mind to not say anything at all. A truthful glory that would have been. Or maybe just — Hello! Then things would probably be fine now as well. No lie to pollute that gray and horrible morning. Not congenial. No general courtesy; as is of course, and unfortunately, generally accepted.
And, as I said, I didn´t think much of it at the time. I just stood there after my affirming nod, in silent ignorant codependency. A sleeping gullible fool. Now, some thirty years later, I live to regret it. Suffer the consequences. Almost bitter.
If only she had said — I´m hungry, my morals are low. Or better yet, if she would have said — I can´t tell my head from my tails. Or — I wouldn´t know the difference between an angel and a hole in the ground. Or — I´m lost! But you
don´t say things like that. It would appear something was not right, with her, made her seem a nutter! The most likely response a disapproving radiance of dislike, a frown and a step or two away.
Unless, of course, you heard the call, honest too.
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If she would have cried instead. Anything but ”Good morning”. That coloured act of apparent cheerful ordinary going on, probably upheld with some bravery or repressed anger. Or shame? Or fear?
If only she would have leaned or banged her head against the wall of the bus terminal in an obvious demonstration of agony. A mad gorilla. A chattering hyena. But no, ”Good morning!”, is what she said. Almost gleeful.
And I thought not of it.
But I sort of knew. I could have said — Is it really? Or I could have said ”- Not for me, I am cold and I am wet. I could have said — Oh please, shut up! But, you don´t say things like that, now do you? I mean, that is considered difficult or even very rude, and she would have thought me the danger.
I should have said — No, it isn´t! Sorry mam, but certainly not a “good morning”. Honesty is easy when you practice a measure of awareness. That would have been correct. It would have made me a better person, and I would still be harvesting the sweet fruit of this one occasion of one lie less.
Instead, now the troubling consequence of blandness and language ill used. Despite all the agreed to niceties, the apparent innocence, gravely misled, more tired than necessary.
- Good morning!
- Is it really?
