teacher’s diary: to hold special students
Well, I haven’t worked on this case before. So, when I have to do such a thing, I have a lot of thoughts.
Am I doing it right? Am I teaching them right? Do they understand what I taught them? Do the parents feel safe with me holding their babies?
It has been eight months since I first worked in this field, yet I still don’t know what I’m doing.
Sometimes they throw a tantrum without me knowing the reason why.
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Sometimes they hurt their body without me knowing what happened in their minds.
Sometimes I couldn’t reach them at all, not even for a minute.
It’s confusing. And I remember I didn’t like this kind of confusion before. I don’t like it either now.
Should I leave?
Should I just quit this field?
Who’s gonna hold my babies if I weren’t here anymore?
