What would make you feel fabulous?
I remember when my daughter was getting ready for preschool, and every morning she would be slightly overwhelmed by the choice of clothes in her wardrobe. She was a very fashion-conscious little girl, and she wanted to pick what would help her feel just right.
I remember the day that I landed on the right question, “What would make you feel fabulous today?” This was a game-changer, and it became the anchor to our morning routine. We went from ages of trying to figure out what to wear and just the stress of trying to get out the door, to her single pointedly becoming much more focused. She’d pluck the one item (often a fancy dress costume) and pronounce, “This is the one today, mummy… this is the one!”.
I slowly integrated this into my own inner conversation, getting ready for the day, “What would make me feel fabulous today?”
So I was really interested to listen to a podcast last week, which asks a similar question, “How do you want to feel?”
So, depending on the day or what is happening for you some days it might want to be a baggy pair of jeans or a tracksuit, nice and cosy…. and other days it might be, you want to feel empowered, vibrant, energised and focused.
What we wear impacts how we feel. The clothes that we wear, the underwear that we wear, the attention and the care we put into our clothes become part of our outward expression in the world.
So that quiet pause in the morning rush, to ask can become a subtle and simple shift in how we show up in the next moment.
How do I want to feel today?
Not what should you wear? Not what matches? Not what’s appropriate?
But how do you want to feel?
It’s funny how children often reveal the doorway we’ve been walking past for years.
Because once that question enters the room, everything softens. The overwhelm gives way to clarity. The decision isn’t about the clothes anymore, it’s about an inner orientation rather than an external expectation.
And isn’t that the quiet undercurrent of so many of our daily decisions?
It’s not always dramatic. Sometimes it’s as subtle as choosing a softer fabric against my skin. Or putting on the earrings I usually “save.” Or swapping the tired leggings for something that holds me a little differently.
And sometimes it’s deeper than that. Because “fabulous” doesn’t always mean bold or bright or put-together.
Some days, fabulous feels like safe. Some days, it feels like held together. Some days, it’s invisible enough to get through. And other days, it’s seen, sharp, and fully expressed.
I think about the many roles we move through in a single day.
The version of you who is making breakfast, half-aware, still arriving into the day.
The version who steps into a meeting, voice a little more structured, posture subtly shifting.
The version that softens again later, on the school run, in conversation, in quiet reading a book.
And somewhere in between all of that… there’s the body. Constantly receiving signals.
Fabric, texture, tightness, looseness, colour.
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A waistband that digs in can quietly irritate for hours.
A soft jumper can feel like a kind of permission.
Well-fitted clothes can hold you in a way that says, " You’ve got this.
We don’t often name it, but we are in a relationship with what we wear all day long.
There’s also something tender in the idea of underwear… the layer no one else sees. Who are you dressing for, in those moments? Because even there, there’s a conversation happening.
Am I choosing comfort? Care? Habit? Neglect? Am I rushing past myself, or tending to myself… even in the unseen places? That question — How do you want to feel?
Maybe the power isn’t just in answering it, but really in asking it at all. Because it interrupts the autopilot. It gently returns us to authorship.
A small somatic pause for the morning
Next time you’re getting dressed, maybe even tomorrow, try this:
Before you open the wardrobe, pause.
Feel your feet on the ground for just a moment. Notice your breath… not changing it, just catching it in the act. Let your shoulders drop half an inch.
Then ask, quietly: How do I want to feel today?
Not the ideal answer. The honest one. And as you reach for something, notice:
- Does your body lean toward it or hesitate?
- What happens in your chest?
- Is there a sense of ease… or effort?
Let the body have a vote. There’s something beautifully self-respecting in this practice. A way of saying: I matter in this day I’m about to step into.
And maybe that’s what my daughter found so naturally. Not just a way to get dressed faster… but a way to belong to herself before the day began.
A gentle writing prompt you might return to:
Write about a specific outfit you wore recently… one that stayed with you.
- What did you choose, and why?
- How did your body feel in it throughout the day?
- Did it support you, distract you, protect you, express you?
- If that outfit could speak, what would it say about how you were meeting the world that day?
And then, softly:
What might you choose tomorrow, if feeling… not expectation… led the way?
