Member-only story
A Random Rant for AFP
I Once Had An Emergency Operation For Haemorrhoids
And it was no fucking fun, that’s for damn sure
I remember hearing an old saying that went something like this:
Three of the most painful ailments that are usually laughed at by others are: Gout, ingrowing toenails, and the aforementioned Haemorrhoids.
By the way, what was the fucking lunatic that conjured up that spelling smoking?
Anyhoo, if you have not suffered from any of these, you are in luck, or look after yourself fucking well.
Either way, well done.
I, on the other hand (or feet, as the case may be), have endured all three.
I have not had gout for years, the ending of which kind of coincided with the time that I stopped boozing. Fucking red wine, nectar of the Gods, leading to the incredible pain of Gout. And my ingrowing fucking toenails appear to have given up growing.
At least, I fucking hope so.
Anyway, this story is about haemorrhoids (hereinafter called the more common name of “Piles”) because, fuck it, I’m tired of making sure I spell it right. Even ChatGPT got confused, thanks to our friends across the pond.
