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The Gentle Art Nobody Talks About
What men have taught a formerly sheltered girl about masturbation, pornography and shame
I had a sheltered childhood.
I grew up in a female-heavy home, with three sisters and Mum for company — and Dad, of course. But he never spoke about sex or sexuality, and I was poorly educated about what men did with their genitals.
Masturbation was never, ever discussed.
So it’s odd that I’ve turned out to be a sex-addiction therapist and, as a result, talk to men about masturbation all the time.
The irony isn’t lost on me. The first time I even heard that masturbation was a thing, I was pretty amazed.
And then horrified when I first saw a man doing it. He was hiding in the bushes and thought no-one could see. I did and got a fright.
I’ve come a long way, as they say.
In my work with men — who I’m eternally grateful to for their openness and honesty — I’ve made a few observations.
The first, and perhaps the most important, is that it’s a crying shame parents don’t talk enough to their sons about this gentle art.
And shame on the priests and church leaders who guilt-tripped generations of young men for indulging…
