My quest to add movement to my sedentary lifestyle

Since I have been working from home, I have been trying to find ways to add movement to my life. For what it’s worth, I’m that person who hated sports as a child and has spent part of my adulthood trying to find the sport that would be fun enough not to feel like an effort.

But as a working mom, trying to fit enough sport (4 hours a week was my goal) into my schedule takes a bit of creativity. I started by taking meetings on a treadmill, but it lost its appeal when I began hitting the gym and discovered that lifting is way more fun. Also, passive meetings are not as common for me anymore, as I now have to present more frequently.

I now work out twice a week during lunch break with my husband. I also attend yoga classes with my older child on Saturday mornings. I still wanted to fit another hour of sport in my week, but couldn’t create extra space for it.

How the folding bike idea was born

For a couple of company retreats, I stayed at hotels that were lending bikes. It felt easier to me than trying to understand how public transportation worked, so I borrowed them. I thought it was a nice and fast way to navigate cities I didn’t know, and I was pleasantly surprised by how safe it felt. Now, whenever I attend retreats, I bring a helmet just in case.

I started wanting to do more of that in France, for my coworking day (it happens once a week). I live close enough to Paris, but not close enough to do the whole commute on a bike. The bike I had back then was not a good fit for the suburban train, because trains can get very crowded. I also didn’t use it much because my husband and I never could decide to purchase what is necessary to load our bikes on top of our car. So I sold my bike with no regrets.

I started comparing some folding bikes, and hesitated between the Decathlon 1-second folding bike, and its expensive and popular competitor, the Brompton C-Line. I visited both shops to try riding and folding them. I thought the Brompton bike required a complex choreography to fold and unfold, the price was too high, and I didn’t have any shops nearby for potential repairs. So I picked the Decathlon option, despite the small details that weren’t as polished. I thought if I ended up not liking my bike, it would not be as big a commitment.

My husband and a couple of friends were surprised that I didn’t pick an electric bike, especially as folding bikes have smaller wheels. But that was the whole point, I didn’t want assistance, because it was supposed to be an effort. Also, what’s the point of purchasing a folding bike if it weighs over 20 kilos when you walk up and down the stairs of a train station?

What I think about it after a few months

Let me tell you I have zero regrets:

• It takes me about 30 seconds to fold it, and when the train is crowded, it doesn’t take up more space than a suitcase.
• It takes up very little space in our basement, and in our trunk when we want to ride our bikes in the park we love.
• I was pleasantly surprised to discover that riding a bike in Paris is way safer than I thought, as the city made a lot of efforts for the Olympics. It is extremely easy to navigate and find parking.
• It’s also fun to discover that there are some unspoken traffic laws for bikes in Paris. You realize very fast that you become part of some sort of cohort that moves together, and that doesn’t care so much about traffic lights. I shouldn’t be writing this. But it is true.
• I have purchased a nice magnet case so I can use my phone as a GPS, and a helmet that makes me look like a ridiculous Playmobil, but that fits my backpack because it is folding as well.
• I am deliberately going to a train station that isn’t the closest to where I live, so that I can ride for a bit longer. It means that whenever I go to Paris, I get to ride before and after I get on the train, and the cumulative time amounts to an hour of riding. Which is how I fit that extra hour of sport!
• Initially, I just wanted to use my bike when the weather was warm enough. It’s now December, and I am still enthusiastically riding it. I have found the best gloves for that. I even ride it in the rain sometimes for small things like grabbing a parcel at a nearby shop.
• I love being alone on my bike. It’s a weird thing to say, but moments when I am alone are scarce and therefore very valuable. I love that I cannot wear headphones, and it forces me to be in my head for a bit.
• When I started doing that, I was scared of cars and of being robbed if I parked. I was also in a lot of pain for the final climb to Gare du Nord. This all feels easy and normal now. It’s good to see progress and to feel confident and stronger.
• It is such a win to move faster than I would with the metro, and checking Google Maps is always very satisfying!
• Riding allows me to enjoy the city more. I like to look at people’s outfits for instance, or at the buildings and shops.
• Also, my train station has fewer trains, which means my bike gives me more options to come back home faster than I would without it. I just have to pick a train that stops at a city nearby and finish the commute on my bike.

What I am writing here may not be true depending on where you live: I don’t expect every city to be safe when you explore it on a bike. But if you live in a city where it’s ok, and this story inspired you, you should definitely consider a folding bike! Maybe for Christmas?

My folding bike was originally published in Zenite on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The room is quiet, the lights are dim, and I am lying next to my 4-year-old child. We have just finished reading the bedtime story. He has a bit of dry toothpaste on his mouth, and there are toys everywhere I lay my eyes. I can feel the density and the warmth of his body. I can feel the softness of his fleece pajamas. I watch his chest moving as he breathes, and the pitch of the air passing through his mouth is uniquely characteristic of this age.

I carefully put my ear to his tiny chest. His tiny heart beats faster than mine. It is small and yet racing with life, despite the low energy of the evening. As a mother, those quiet realizations are so ridiculously anecdotal, yet sometimes so overwhelming… Should I take pride in any of this?

He tells me he loves me to the rainbows. In these crazy times, this moment of simple bliss and love is a privilege. I think about the other mothers out there who strive to find this type of mutual safety with their little ones, and it's heartbreaking to think that something so simple is a luxury to some.

I put my ear to his tiny chest, and I feel connected to much bigger things.

I had a dream last night. I was staying at a charmless hotel by the sea with my family, and during a walk, we found a toddler walking out of the waters.

I somehow understood that the child was a water creature, and while they had chosen me as their mother, they needed to return to their other mother, the sea, every once in a while, at night. Like a stray cat would both choose a family and their freedom.​

The kid was a joy to be around, embodying perfection as a child, making me feel motherhood at its fullest, and making our family complete. And it was heartbreaking to help them undress and watch them vanish in the waves when they had to leave, actively giving them back to their other life, the one happening without me. I was watching them, a minuscule, frail, pale dot in the immensity, as their soft and fresh skin was disappearing in the colorless waves. I was feeling alternating joy and grief as the child visited us and then left.

Shortly before I woke up, I remember that a storm was coming, and I was resiliently thinking to myself that my child would be safer where they belonged, under the water, where I couldn’t follow them. Another mother was walking in the sand from group of people to group of people, trying to find a family for her newborn, should something happen to them during the storm. I was so distracted by my own emotions that I couldn’t react or show the slightest bit of empathy. She therefore walked away and asked another woman on the beach. I didn’t hear her answer, and felt guilty.

When I woke up, I took a moment to reflect on the meaning of this dream. Some friends recently opened up about their difficulties raising their teenager, and I now wonder if this dream was an intense fable my mind made up to prepare me to let go, as my older kid will soon enter middle school. Another possibility is that I’m in another acceptance phase about never having another child. Or maybe I am yet again shaken by what happens to children in parts of our absurd world, and how powerless we all feel about it. It might also just be that I’m processing this recent realization that parenting is a stream of grief and joy, coming in waves. Parenting is feeling equally blessed and robbed when swiping up your camera roll, because the child you filmed a year ago is already gone, already a different person, and you can miss them even though they’re still right next to you. And maybe the most rational answer is it’s just the fever, because I am currently fighting a cold.

My dream left me with big feelings that lingered after the child had disappeared into the foam​​ for good, as I woke up. I decided to capture it here, like a fascinating, ephemeral insect holding a universal secret about motherhood. It is trapped in these words, so you can contemplate its mystery with me for just a bit before I eventually let it go. Just before I understand it, and in time, completely forget it.

The Ocean Child was originally published in Beloved on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

This humble story is inspired by a mini road trip to Falling Waters with my coworker, Jason Combs. Jason is our talented Brand designer, but he is also a seasoned music curator. He shares about the music he likes every month on Medium, and you should definitely subscribe to his updates.

During our trip, he played his great playlist and at some point asked about French artists. I love music too, but I would say I lean more towards mainstream. I also tend to keep my music to myself. I have always found that sharing music was a vulnerable act, because people are so quick to judge based on taste. When you are in a creative field, imposter syndrome based on not being edgy enough can be a thing. That being said, I realized during that trip that past Aznavour, Piaf, Daft Punk, and MC Solaar, very few of our French artists make it past the borders. So I shared a few of the recs from this story.

I’d also like to kick off a conversation in my responses, based on something fun I read recently. Apparently, our tastes somehow freeze past 30 years old. This info was often shared in the context of music. Do you think that’s true based on your experience? I lean towards yes, but it makes me question seniority in creative fields that also involve taste.

Another quick French pride nit, somewhat related to music: I am using Deezer because I think they are doing a good job of pushing hard to protect creators’ earnings with the rise of AI. Just saying (if some of you readers are tired of supporting Spotify, given the recent news.)

Dabeull

If you love 80s electronic and funky sounds à la RAH Band, or Geraldine Hunt, Dabeull could be your go-to option. Be prepared for some kitch backup singing and a lot of talkbox! To be transparent, I like to slip a song or two in a playlist, but I can’t listen to a full album.

Yet, he is one of the few I saw at a concert recently, at the Philharmonie de Paris, and while his music is usually mainly electronic, he was playing with a live band. It really was insane (sneak peek), and the merch was pure eye candy. Fun fact: his name is because of the shape of one of his ears, which has two lobes!

Antoine Bourachot

More electronic music! Antoine Bourrachot really caught my ear (if I may). Again, his tracks have this retro funky disco slash electronic vibe while being contemporary. Based on his top titles, he seems to be somewhat related to Breakbot’s friend, Irfane. I love how organic the instruments in the musical layers are in some of his tunes.

Leon Phal

I don’t listen to much jazz, but I am making an exception for Léon Phal. He is a young and talented saxophonist who often collaborates with artists from different musical horizons. I think this makes his jazz music more approachable because it borrows codes of pop genres. On some of his tracks, some afrobeat influences are also very palpable. Stress Killer is part of my vinyl collection, and I can certify that it does kill my stress.

Flavien Berger

Flavien Berger is an artist from another world. His work is so versatile, and also so poetic, it is hard for me to describe his style. Is saying he is sitting somewhere between indie and electronic accurate? There must be a niche that corresponds to his music. But it always feels so unexpected to me, in a positive way.

I initially discovered the track I am embedding in a completely different style, and I already loved it. But his recent rework in his new album Plouf is a delight in terms of musical richness. It has been on loop in my ears for a few days now. If you want to enjoy it the way I do, pay close attention to all the actual instruments that are used to create this dreamy atmosphere. It is pure beauty. I could listen to what happens at 2:57 over and over again without ever getting tired of it.

Needless to say, the vinyl is in transit. It’ll be part of my small collection real soon, and I can’t wait to listen to it while quietly knitting in the morning sun with my giant cup of tea.

Bertrand Burgalat

I am unsure how people who don’t speak French will receive this music. Bertrand Burgalat is a vibe, visually and in terms of voice range. I think the reason I enjoy his songs is that the writing is so good, it literally is poetry.

I can't resist sharing a translation so that English speakers can enjoy the poignant song I am embedding.

Useless regrets grow
In the back of our secret gardens
And in their corner, old remorses
Still bloom 20 years later
This is how our paths are paved

With things we can’t tell anyone, anyone, anyone

These clandestine flowers get their sap
Out of the tears we hold back, old dreams
All that only us know
Become our memory’s ivy
And give the air a taste of Autumn
Some things we can’t tell anyone

The challenge we thought made us cowards (anyone)
And the sad bravery we hide (anyone)
We don’t forget, nor forgive ourselves
For things we can’t tell anyone

What are old regrets for
Those we will never voice out loud
Why does this useless remorse
Come back to accuse us again
And the heart struggles, weighted by
What we have to keep to ourselves
And the heart struggles, weighted by
What I can’t tell, even to you
(Even to you ad lib)

La Femme

I think La Femme is one of my favorite bands, and I am so excited because I am seeing them in November with my husband (even though their former singer, whom I really liked, left the band). Bracing up for this type of madness! I think Psycho Tropical Berlin is my favorite album, but honestly, all of them are great. For instance, Teatro Lucido, their album in Spanish, is a total gem, and I love how psychedelic Mystère was (listen to Sphynx, for instance).

I love love love the '60s references in the instrumentation and the dangerous vibes you can get from some of their songs. From a styling point of view, they remind me of the Rita Mistoukos, a band I loved as a kid.

It’s one of those bands that make me love how French can sound in music. They are using a lot of old-fashioned words, which I find quite charming.

In case you Google the lyrics of the song I’m attaching, they don’t really mean anything, it’s mostly the band having fun with alliteration. I am obsessed with the lazy phrasing in that one.

Juniore

Again, sharing a band with ‘60s vibes and beautiful writing. I like the nonchalant singing. It is absolutely charming. You might have overheard this band if you watched Emily in Paris (which, I admit, I hate-watched.)

I guess that’s all for today.

Let me know if you’ve found some gems recently. Would you be interested in more stories about music?

No app ever managed to replace it

Disclaimer: I didn’t invent my to-do list system, but I don’t recall where I first read about it, as I’ve been using it for at least ten years now. If someone can tell me where it’s from, please tell me and I’ll credit.

Why I use pen and paper

The act of handwriting brings a bit of delight to my day, and helps me organize my thoughts and prioritize my tasks in a scrappy way.

I always keep a notepad on my desk, and I just toss it away when it’s finished. I have tried to replace pen and paper with digital options, but I always come back to analog.

I purchase the same notepads over and over again, and Pilot v7 pens. I use my notepad as a helper when interacting with someone so I can jot down my thoughts with as little interruption as possible. I also write daily to-do lists.

The to-do system

I only use the right pages for to-dos, and the left pages are just for scratch.

The right page is split into three parts:

• The date of the day is at the top.
• Work to-dos are on the first half of the page. I make sure to leave space below work tasks in case things come up during the day, so I can add items.
• My personal to-do list is at the bottom of the page, because it just makes my mental load better to see everything at once on the same page.

I use evolutive symbols:

• For each task, I draw a circle that I progressively fill in as progress happens. If finishing this task is my goal for the day, I add a chevron in front of it.
• I fill in a quarter of it when the task is started,
• half of it when good progress happens,
• and 3/4 when the task is close to done.
• The whole circle is filled when the task is fully done, and I also strike through the text.
• If I delegate the task, I draw a small satellite circle connected to the original circle.
• If the task is on hold, because of a dependency or because priorities are elsewhere, I add a T on top of the circle (it then looks like a timer).

Of course, I also use digital

In addition to my system, I use Notion databases for notes I want to be able to keep and search (“Notepad”) and achievements I want to document (“Hype”). But for short-term memory, I keep relying on pen and paper.

Let me know if you gave this system a try and if you liked it! I am also curious to know whether you use different systems that could complete this.

An impromptu encounter

During our family road trip, when exiting a museum, a flyer with a familiar name caught my eye: Eric Seydoux.

It felt odd to see that name emerge from a past life, and also this far from home. I knew he had passed a long time ago, and seeing the flyer showcasing his exhibition at the Matisse museum made me very emotional.

My kids and husband had no idea who he was. Unlike me, they never had the privilege to meet him. So at the end of our road trip, we took a small detour to see the exhibition. I was on the verge of tears several times while admiring his work and the pictures of his studio. This was the signal that maybe it was time for a tribute.

How we met

When I was a graphic design student (a different life!), I didn’t get my diploma right away because I didn’t validate a course credit. The topic I chose for my end-of-year project was ethically questionable in the eyes of the jury evaluating it, and so I had to retake this single course the year after. The topic was participative design, and jury members thought it raised intellectual property concerns. This meant that the year after, if I wanted my diploma, I had to attend classes for a single morning every week. The rest of my time was free. I felt very ashamed and depressed by this situation. I thought I was a burden to my family because I couldn’t really start my professional life without my diploma, and so I had to find solutions for that year to cost my parents as little as possible. I moved to a ridiculously cheap 9 m² unsanitary apartment, took odd jobs, and crunched on a new end-of-year topic that would make jury members look like a**holes if they dared raise ethical concerns about it in front of the group.

At some point, a mindshift happened, and I realized this year was, in fact, a unique chance to learn new skills that would make my profile look different from the cohort of students I belonged to. There was a ridiculous budget policy at my school, where the silkscreen printing machine was only available to students learning textile design. I was studying graphic design, so using it wasn’t possible. It was very frustrating to miss out because of this. I decided to use my free time to do an internship in a printing studio and learn this craft. Now that I am more “grown up”, I realize it was another way I had found to take ownership of my fate and show my school how lame I thought they were.

After a quick online search, I found a studio that was a 15-minute walk from my apartment. It was Eric Seydoux’s. I had no idea who he was, but I had decided that it was going to be there, because it was convenient.

So I called, and he said he didn’t take interns because he already had an apprentice. The thing was, I was done with rejection. I was in a mood where refusing this internship to me had to be more annoying to that guy than consenting to teach me. Side note: As I write this, I realize this story doesn’t cast a beautiful light on the person I was, but it’s ok, because it’s a tribute.

So a campaign started. I called him every day, sent emails, and told him I would learn fast and be a shadow that would just make his life easier. I ended up showing up at his studio, and he gave up. He said it was fine, that he would teach me for a month, but he couldn’t afford to pay for my internship. At that point, I didn’t care about money anymore. I had a few savings, and I needed a win. I was over the moon.

The intership

I quickly discovered that Eric was huge in the art world. He had collaborated with the most famous artists and knew most of them in person. His work allowed those famous people to shine.

Yet, he was a very humble man, very quiet, and very patient when he was teaching me. My favorite part of the intership was quietly working next to him, trying to anticipate the next step of his work in silence, bringing over whatever would be useful next before he even asked for it, and enjoying the show of seeing this master at work. I was so grateful to be a small part of his craft and world. Seeing that he was grateful for the help I was bringing was a comforting validation.

I loved the smell of the ink, the care he took with every step of the process, and his slow but precise movements. There was a form of elegance to his work. Time felt different in his studio. I had worked in ad agencies under a lot of pressure, and I was discovering that something healthier was possible, something more meaningful. It was so obvious that this man loved his job, he truly cared about quality.

Because he didn’t speak much, I remember his joy was contagious when he was excited about printing something on an unusual medium, or whenever a technical challenge came up. He was also excited when he was working for people he admired.

He trusted juniors. He let me try printing art from artists I had always admired for actual orders (Sempé made a strong impression on me, for instance). Next to him, I developed an eye for colorimetry that later helped me when I worked as a photo retoucher.

I remember that one day, a visitor came in. I usually didn’t interfere when this happened and used that time to karscher screens or sweep a bit with his apprentice. He asked both of us to come say hi. It was Pierre Soulages, one of the greatest French contemporary painters. Huge. The man was very intimidating, and shaking his hand is still a highlight of my life.

One day, he told me to save the date for something special. I made an effort to wear clean shoes and clothes (my studio outfit and sneakers were all stained with ink). He was going to receive the title of “maître d’art,” an official title here in France for people considered masters at a specific craft. Remembering Eric’s emotion that day, or the pride of his wife, is powerful. Among the people who received this title that day were people doing insanely beautiful creations with feathers for high-end fashion brands, or a luthier.

Soon enough, it was the last day of the intership. I was sad to go. He asked me to come to his office, and gave me a check for my work that month (I still wonder whether he really could afford it), and he also gave me a limited edition of a 1989 print portfolio from Mattotti — an Italian comic artist that I admire for his colors.

I also left with another type of memory engraved on my face, because one day, a drop of the acid chemical product we were using to wash screens carved a small dip on my nose. Fortunately, I was wearing gloves, protective glasses, and an apron, so the harm was limited. I actually only realised when I came back home and saw the blood on my face. I had to attend an emergency dermatology consultation. The scar is barely visible now, but I can see it. Even though it is what’s left of a wound, it makes me nostalgic every time I notice it.

I came back to say hi on a few occasions, and then life took over. A few years later, I googled his name and realized he had passed away 5 years after my internship. I was really sad.

If only all internships could be beautiful experiences like this one.

The exhibition

My family respectfully followed me in this exhibition. We were, ironically, the only people who didn’t care much about Matisse in the Matisse museum. We speedran Matisse so we could spend time in Eric’s show.

Seeing my husband and kids discover this part of my life was everything to me. Of course, they knew I had done this internship, but they didn’t realize how big the man was. I am glad they now understand. To a certain extent, I also learned stuff about him, his role in the May 68 movement here in France, his studies in the US. When we left, I purchased a retrospective book. I love it so much.

Readers, do me a favor and treat yourself to an errand on Google to learn more about Eric Seydoux. I promise a lot of eye candy if you love design and art.

Planning allows us to enjoy more

How it all started

My husband and I love travelling. Before having kids, we would travel every year. We picked weeks that were less expensive for flights, picked an overseas destination, and away we went. We always made sure to see more than one city and to book via Airbnb to meet locals, and also save money by being able to cook some of our meals. We have great travel stories. At some point, my husband started having clients who wanted him to travel because his videos and pictures could make any destination look stunning.

And then we became parents. We were lacking sleep and weren’t in the mood for long flights and jet lag with our little ones. We also couldn’t book cheap flights anymore because we had more dependencies (schools, nannies). But this wasn’t necessarily bad news because kids increased our ecological awareness, and we wanted to be more mindful of our carbon footprint. We barely knew our own country and the ones that were close by. We had so much to discover!

In the first years, we started off by going to the beach in the summer (the no-brainer vacation style in France if you have kids). But I never liked the lazy day at the beach experience for various reasons. So at some point, we started designing summer kid-friendly road trips for our family, so we could travel again without burning out.

Before I deep dive, and if you know me IRL, I apologize in advance if my summer project management makes you freak out!

Plan and Budget

The first step is discussing with my husband what places we crave to discover, evaluating whether our ideas are compatible, and how much we can afford to spend.

From there, we discuss other considerations: Do we want to see landscapes or cities? How much heat can we take? How much time are we willing to drive with our kids in the car?

After a few years, here’s what our brief looks like: the travel has to match our budget, we want to flee heatwaves, we don’t want to drive for more than two hours in a row, we want to visit cities, we prefer to avoid zoos (do I really have to explain why), and we want to visit a new theme park every year (this is the apex of the road trip for our kids, we try to save it for the end of the trip). If we can, we invite a friend or a relative to join us for one of our stops.

Usually, we do a lot of research to design our itinerary. But my mental load has increased lately, so I just fed those guidelines into ChatGPT and asked for five possible route options. We picked one of them and worked from there. It saved us a lot of time and allowed us to discover cities we would have never thought of visiting in the first place. We also decided to do two weeks this year instead of three, so that we would use the third week to chill at home and just save time to slow down for the hobbies we love.

Le Spreadsheet

From there, a spreadsheet situation happens. I create it in my Google drive and it looks like this:

• I break down days by morning and afternoon. Travel days are always: traveling in the morning, eating a sandwich before we do the next Airbnb check-in, and strolling in the afternoon once the car is empty.
• I make sure to keep the links to the interesting Airbnbs and activities in there. I turn the cell color to green for anything I already booked.
• I try to anticipate gas and toll expenses.
• I set a daily budget for food, even though we often spend more: it’s just for us to know when to balance restaurants and homemade food.
• Pro tip for activities: don’t assume they’ll be open every day or that tickets will be available when you are there. Do your research to Tetris activities in your schedule the right way and purchase your tickets ahead of time if necessary. For outdoor activities, if you don’t have to book ahead, don’t. It’ll allow you to keep some flex in case of rainy weather.
• I anticipate washing machines. This is key if you don’t want to bring a whole wardrobe. I will come back to clothes later. I make sure to have at least one washing machine available per week free of charge, and there has to be one in the last rental. I don’t want to take care of the laundry when I come back home. I just want to unpack and chill.
• My spreadsheet is available offline, and I refer to it frequently during our trip. I pair it with a folder in my drive where I keep the tickets for activities I booked ahead, the Airbnb app, and my Tricount app for expense tracking.

What to bring

I have an Apple note with a massive checklist that I fine-tune every year. I’ll paste it here and comment when necessary. Everything has to fit in 2 suitcases. We also have a cooler bag with food and drinks and a big plastic bag that we put at the back of the car between the kids with all the items from the “Fun” to-do list below. Our goal is to be able to park our full car without our stuff visible from the outside in case of late check-ins. We have some car window shades on the kids’ windows that allow us to store things at the back of the car without them being visible from the outside whenever we park.

Health

Anything from that list is stored in a dedicated tiny cooler bag.

• Sunscreen
• Emergency purse: plasters, arnica stick, paracetamol doses, disinfectant wipes
• Tilenol (adult+kids)
• Thermometer
• Anti-burn lotion

Fun

Anything from that list is stored in a big plastic bag I can install between my kids at the back of the car, or behind the driver’s seat if we need to park our full car somewhere.

• Cuddly toys X2
• 5–6 small toys: figurines, cars
• Audio players for kids
• Sketchpads + pencils
• iPad + various chargers
• Bike phone holder: We use it on the stroller, so a phone can be used as a GPS without having to hold it.
• Bike lock: We use it for the stroller when we cannot bring it with us for an activity.
• Spare battery
• Board games: We pick small ones that everyone in the family enjoys and can play, such as Spot It, Taco Cat Goat Cheeze Pizza, or Twin It.

For outings

• Stroller and rain cover. We have a very compact stroller (The Babyzen Yoyo that is also allowed in planes!) which we use for long walks until my kids celebrate their fifth birthday. This is also true when we go to theme parks. Forgetting to take it is not great for our backs! Some museums can lend you one, though. My toddler took a nice nap in the Rijks Museum in a stroller they lent us, for instance.
• Wristband for kids. These are bracelets with their names and our phone number, in case we lose them in a crowd. We are considering AirTags for next year after a few runaways.
• Sneakers + Comfy sandals for everyone
• Rain coats
• Backpacks + water bottle for everyone but the toddler.
• Caps and sunglasses for everyone
• Big tote bag. You will definitely need it for groceries, for a day at the swimming pool, or to unload your backpack. I have these hooks on my stroller that allow me to hang the tote bag if I need it.

Clothes

I used to want to bring fancy clothes. I don’t anymore. My vacation outfits are boring as hell. I bring black-and-white tops and denim pants or shorts; my sweatpants are black. This isn’t at all my usual style. But on vacation, everything has to match everything and be easy to wash. This has allowed me to bring less because we try to make everyone’s clothes fit in a single suitcase.

• UV protection T-shirt for kids + Arm floaters for our toddler
• Jacket
• 2 zipped hoodies
• Swimsuit
• 5 tops
• 1 pair of sweatpants
• 1 Pair of jeans
• 3 pairs of shorts
• 7 pairs of socks and 7 underwear sets in a dedicated totebag (one per family member)
• 2 Pyjamas (so I can wash one and have another one available)

Bathroom

• Toothbrush + Toothpaste
• Minimal make-up + Make-up remover and cotton pads
• Hairbrush
• Deodorant
• Conditioner + Shampoo + Shower gel in a plastic bag, so they’re easier to pack and unpack, and so that leaks are not a catastrophe

Everyday life

• Ice packs + cooler + a Tupperware. They will allow you to bring your leftovers from one home to the other, or to do the groceries.
• Dishwasher tablets + Detergent tablets. I store them in small jars that I label with masking tape
• Hand laundry gel
• Sponge and kitchen towel. I am paranoid about old sponges or about not having a kitchen towel available.
• Microfiber body towels are useful in case you don’t have towels in an Airbnb, if you go on a splashy ride in a theme park, or if you just want to spend a day at the beach (even though I don’t like this, my kids do, so we happen to still do it sometimes). They also don’t take up too much space.
• Big laundry bag
• A toilet paper roll
• A paper towel roll
• Tissues

Before leaving the house

• Turn off alarm clocks 🥹
• Turn on the alarm
• Turn off the water
• Empty compost bucket
• Empty trash
• Close windows and shutters
• Check the freezer indicator. We often have power outages in the summer, and this is a good way to quickly check whether there has been a problem with my frozen food when I come back. This is a tiny plastic glass of frozen water I put in the freezer with a coin on top of the ice. I will know there has been a power outage if the coin is trapped in the ice instead of on top of it. If that were to be the case, I would know I need to trash all the food.
• Fill the water bottles
• Give our keys to neighbors

On the road

We try to avoid long commutes so our kids don’t go crazy, and we avoid driving for more than two hours in a row.

I am not letting my boys watch screens in the car, so they have some audio players with headsets, and those are packed with podcasts and stories.

We also pick an audiobook that our oldest son can understand (our toddler just takes naps in the car most of the time). Last year we listened to The Alchemist, and this year we listened to a French book explaining how and why women were wiped out of History books.

If you can speak French, we also have a list of podcasts they fancy that we can all listen to together. One is about stupid stuff adults did as kids, one is about popular science, and we discovered another one about shipwrecks that is great too.

We always have water and food in the car, and I usually prepare sandwiches the day before. I also bring fruit so we don’t just eat unhealthy snacks.

Because my husband kindly drives, I brought my knitting project in the car this year and made good progress during this downtime!

Once there

I don’t unpack. We just leave our suitcases open on the floor. Life’s too short! We’re there to enjoy!

I am tracking expenses during the trip in an app called Tricount to make sure we are on track. I am unsure whether it exists in English, and initially, it’s an app for people who go on vacation with friends for them to know who owes how much to whom. I just got used to it, and maybe there are better options.

A Quick Note about Kid-Friendly Activities

Most kid-friendly suggestions will be zoos or “experience” exhibitions. My humble opinion is that it’s rubish and our kids deserve authenticity. They can enjoy it.

Mine have surprised me with their ability to adapt and be curious about things that we feared they’d find boring. For instance, the joy my toddler experienced in an architectural villa we were visiting was everything to me: he was behaving like a real estate agent, organizing the visit for us, commenting on the furniture and the facilities. It was so much fun.

Also, there are ways to make museums fun. For instance, Guillaume Gallienne, a French actor, recommends some games for kids that we tried and that were a ton of fun. Here’s one: ask them to go into the next room, pick a piece, choose a name for it, then come back to tell you the name. You then have to try to guess which piece it was. This is hilarious. We also often ask which piece they prefer and ask them to explain why. If a museum offers a treasure hunt with a device, we pay for it.

We also have a tolerance for impromptu stops in public parks so they can run and play. Those are great moments too, and they allow us adults to take a break.

It looks like a lot, but honestly, it’s my favourite type of vacation. Anticipation and organization make room for fun, exploration, and remove a lot of stress, so we can fully enjoy our trips. I feel like our family makes a ton of great memories: our kids get to see a lot of homes, cities, lifestyles, cultures, and art. I love that we can do that for them and use this time to open their minds more.

How I Design Our Family’s Road Trips was originally published in The Parenting Portal on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

A lesson about thoughtfulness when texting in a crisis

Disclaimer: this story happened in France, where I live

Yesterday, after my work day, I closed my laptop and started my usual routine. I picked up my kids at school and went back home on a quiet street. It is really warm these days, and the kids were all sweaty. My little one was all excited about some unicorn candies he’d gotten from a birthday party.

Are You Okay?

I had a Zoom event to attend, so I vanished back to my office for an hour. It is located in our basement. Going there is isolating me from my family and life in general, which is great for focus. But when I closed the Zoom window, I saw a bunch of texts on my phone.
“Are you okay?”
“The SWAT is at your door.”
“Do you know what’s going on? I cannot go back to my home.”
“Is everything fine?”

Some even texted pictures of the portion of the street I live on crowded with trucks, cops, and random people.

I emerged from the basement, puzzled, and asked my husband what was going on. He had received the same kind of texts.

I live in a city with a lot of social diversity, and while people usually coexist peacefully, there is sometimes a bit of delinquency. For instance, when young Nael was shot by a police officer, our Town hall was burnt to the ground.

When tension arises, we usually check the local Facebook groups. This is where the gossip happens, and you have to check them out with a critical eye.
“Someone is locked in their home with hostages”.
“I think it’s happening at the synagogue.”
“It’s at the post office”.
Ok, both are literally facing my house…

We locked ourselves in, because a few years back, someone tried to escape the police running from garden to garden, after attacking a woman to steal her necklace in the street. They had sought refuge on top of a roof. It took a few hours before they surrendered to the police.

I received a few other texts.

“The guy is in his home, and he is threatening to blow the neighborhood.”
“The Gaz Leak Emergency truck is here.” We have a service for this here in France.
“The Prefect has arrived.”
“Close your doors and windows; he might try to break in.” It’s unusual to have the AC here. In the evening, everybody opens up their windows, and during the day, we close everything to keep the house cool.

I still opened a window that I thought was safe while facing the street. The building next to my house creates a blind spot, so the scene looked close to the usual to me. I still spotted a few neighbors on the other side of the street looking from their windows and taking pictures with their phones. A woman tried to mime things to me, but I didn’t get what she meant. I tried to talk to her, but she made a shushing gesture. I closed my window and the curtains. My older kid was all excited; it felt like an action movie to them. I wasn’t excited at all, and I wanted this nonsense to be over. I couldn’t find anything about what was going on TikTok or X.

A few hours later, the city published a message on our local Facebook group to beg people to stop gossiping and spreading misinformation online. We tried to watch a Netflix movie. It was garbage, so we quickly turned the TV off (side note: Is there anything great to watch at all these days? Streaming services feel as exhausting as infinite scrolls to me.)

And It Was Over

Then, at some point, an official message was published on the Facebook group to say the intervention was over. And it’s been very quiet since.

In French, we have a word, “forcené,” that conveys that someone lost their mind, barricaded themselves, and is now out of control. The message was saying that this “forcené” had barricaded themselves in their home (so no hostages) and had eventually surrendered to the forces. I don’t know how the forces knew they had to be there. I assume there was a credible threat.

I realized we know the family living right next to this house and texted them to see if they were okay. They obviously know this person. Their response was very factual. Also, they hadn’t been able to access their homes until very late in the evening.

I hope this “forcené” gets the help they need. Walking in the street this morning, with everything back to normal, felt a bit off. It was like nothing happened. This person is now God knows where. Their house still looks the same, with its real estate sign, because it’s been on sale for a while now.

Why Write About This?

I want it out of my head. I want to verbalize all the ambiguity of this experience.

• I am grateful that a lot of people care and want to know if we’re ok, sharing advice to make sure we are safe. The last time I experienced this was when the Bataclan terrorist attacks happened.
• Yet, this time was different because I also felt deeply annoyed that I had been stressed because of misinformation. Also, some people text you just to be in the know. I hate this. I think I myself created this kind of annoyance by texting my neighbor living right next to this person. I am feeling a bit of shame today.
• In the end, I also feel a bit robbed because we haven’t been properly informed of what we were really risking after it happened. It just was over, and everything went back to normal. Nobody was harmed.
• The feeling that lingers after all this is very dissonant with how I felt yesterday. I feel genuine compassion for this anonymous person who lives a few doors away from our house. Knowing that this person, so close to our daily life, who probably crossed our path a lot of times, was probably quietly feeling this amount of despair for a long time leaves a weird taste in my mouth.

I don’t have much to add, but I guess this was an invitation to be thoughtful when texting someone experiencing this kind of crisis.

“The SWAT is at your door.” was originally published in Zenite on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.