Member-only story
𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑆𝑒𝑙𝑓-𝑅𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝐷𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑖𝑣𝑒𝑠 𝑈𝑠
Here’s why self-respect isn’t a Real Thing.
I tried to think it through, but I couldn’t find a thread to pull, no place where it began or might end. It’s just the nature of my work.
I spend my time thinking deeply about the things people have told us, taught us, or set as standards.
Self-respect was a puzzle to me too. I had watched people respect themselves all the time, and maybe I was one of them. It’s what I learned: self-respect comes before everything, always.
It’s the one thing you never compromise on. But who am I to complain about anyone?
I was guarding my self-respect while lying, deceiving, and carrying resentment, envy, and suspicion in my heart.
Those things never let me rest. I was just getting by, chanting the mantra of self-respect. I had been told that whatever happens, you must respect yourself.
The real problem was that I had given myself self-respect, but now I needed others to give it to me too. With all my hypocrisy and lies, two faces, or really, who knows how many masks, a different one for every person. And through all of it, I expected people to respect me.
