Member-only story
I’m The Person Who Didn’t RSVP, And, Yes, I’m Here With Three Extra Kids
Hope you planned accordingly!
Hey! Thanks for the party invitation you sent out two weeks ago. I couldn’t be bothered to RSVP. But I’m definitely here, at Little Jimmy’s 7th Birthday, and I’ve brought three additional, uninvited children.
I’m sure our presence won’t cause any logistical issues on your end. As a party host, it’s your job to assume that people who have not told you that they’re coming are, in fact, coming, along with whomever they choose to bring, no questions asked.
On top of an already expensive list of supplies, you should’ve bought enough food and party favors for these people because the alternative is too terrible to imagine. My three other kids would be heartbroken if only their brother, Sawyer, who you actually invited, got cake and a party favor bag. Surely, you don’t want to see them cry. Because they will. A lot.
And it shouldn’t matter that once my kids get their party loot, they’re going to ditch Little Jimmy and ransack the party venue almost as if they don’t know your son, because they literally don’t know your son.
After all, it’s a party. Parties are supposed to be fun for anyone remotely connected to you, whether it’s through school, your job, or because you once made…
