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DIPLOMATIC DISSONANCE

Klingons in A-flat Major

The concert was a success. Interstellar relations remain under review.

Sunita Chakraborty

7 min read3 days ago

The Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra performs beneath a surreal vision of Singapore’s Marina Bay skyline, complete with Marina Bay Sands and the Merlion. Above the musicians, a Klingon warship flickers neon green as its malfunctioning cloaking device transforms the concert hall into a scene from Star Trek. — Chopin supplied the melody, Stravinsky the mischief, and ChatGPT opened a wormhole between Milwaukee and Singapore, accidentally letting the Klingons into the concert.

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PROGRAM NOTE (UNOFFICIAL)

Chopin / Stravinsky: Nocturne in A-flat major
Performed by the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra
Bradley Symphony Center, downtown Milwaukee.
Description: Elegant. Serene.

Audience advisory: The management accepts no responsibility for the following, all of which occurred in one seat during the performance:

– Somewhere around the second page, the audience member found herself on the bridge.
– The unprompted appearance of William Shatner, mid-pause, flanked by Klingons with their goatees.
– The replacement of Leonard Nimoy’s Spock with Ethan Peck’s, for improved aesthetics.
– The replacement of William Shatner’s Kirk with Chris Pine’s, for the same reason.
– The attempted replacement of the Klingons by Benedict Cumberbatch as Khan, at which point the usher gave her a look.
– The arrival of Shanti, carrying a latte and an air-quality monitor. How she got into the concert hall is unknown. The Klingons never stood a chance.