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Big List Energy is a Medium publication for listicles with opinions, insight, and a sense of humour.

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10 Things Money Can’t Buy

The Beatles might have been right

6 min readOct 19, 2026

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Image of a Christmas tree
Money can buy you a Christmas tree, but it can’t buy you a decent haircut (Wiki Comms)

Money can buy you a lot of things these days, like trips to Mars and extra fries with your Happy Meal. What it can’t buy is a funny listicle on Medium. After weeks of painstaking research, I’ve finally come up with the definitive list of things that money definitely can’t buy.

You read it here first, Paul.

1. Love

Paul McCartney famously sang that money can’t buy you love. But that was back in the 60s, when sweethearts met, danced, got married and lived happily ever after.

Those were more innocent times when sending a telegram was the technological highlight of the year. Now we have dating apps that push physiologically and psychologically identical people towards each other so they can produce physiologically and psychologically identical children.

If Darwin were alive, he would have a fit.

Both my brother and sister found love via dating apps. But the apps weren’t free. And neither were the resulting elegant dates in fancy restaurants. A far cry from my days of meeting my belle in a stinking East Midlands drinking hole, where the only snacks on offer were pork scratchings and ready salted crisps.

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Big List Energy
Big List Energy

Published in Big List Energy

Big List Energy is a Medium publication for listicles with opinions, insight, and a sense of humour.