Work and work is not enough
I get up at 5:30 to make it into the office by 7:00. On most days I don’t leave until 6:30.
Why in the world is there no paper in the copier?
If I send out a complaint to the main office, will someone get fired? Or, will they require that we start supplying our own paper from our personal budgets? You get so used to filling in the gaps for the company you don’t realize that you are the only one holding it up.
The trade-off is that they completely leave me alone to do my work. No one dares to step into my affairs because they know I get the job done. I can the career advancement and job security. The deal is that you give up all of your personal time to get things done.
There is also all of the technical knowledge that an AI or robot cannot replace. The processing and error correction analysis that requires training and experience to make the right calls. Machines also break down just like human beings. I never take sick days (unless absolutely necessary).
You can tell those that work hard versus those that work to maintain. The higher ups know the difference although they will never tell you that. You get to a certain level of expertise where you are the agent of your own benefit or detriment.
There is no alternative to hard work. It means working more hours than there are in a day. It is intoxicating. It is all consuming. It may also not be properly equated in satisfaction. Satisfaction comes from a job well done.
Here in lies the problem — burn out. Since I have no obligations other to myself, then I do as much or as little as I need too. What I have found in myself is that there are people who depend on my work and so I overwork. It has never been wasted.
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It has not been a wasted life. Especially in youth, what else would you be doing with your time? It take money and status to have any “fun”, so why not work your way to deserve years of relaxation. It is a cost risk analysis that has permanent consequences. I could safely say I will live to at least 80, so I better work hard until I hit the middle point.
I am starting to wonder, have a given up too much of my youth? What about my need to have a family? I have been locked away in my office for so many years that I am starting to wonder if those four walls are all there is to life.
People have gone and asked me what the alternative might be. So you save up $200,000 and move to Mexico? What are you going to do — go run and hide? At first it sounds like a good idea, then a few years pass by and you realize you don’t have the money or technical knowledge to move back. You have boxed yourself into a corner.
In the olden days, it was easy to stack two jobs at the same time. I could probably still get away with it, although I am not as young as I used to be. That too has started to lose its thrill factor. Everything has simply become work.
Never give your employer 100%. You can give them 80% and you must leave yourself 20% to work towards various projects. It may take years before you can be financially independent, but independence is something many aspire too and far too few actually reach.
It means having to take work home. It means having to miss birthdays. While others are in on the beach in Bora Bora, you stay behind and get things done. I don’t think people realize how difficult it is to live in America. We present ourselves as a prosperous nation, which we are. The cost however is that you have to be constantly working.
I wonder what I might say looking back in 30 years. Were those restless nights really worth the effort? I can already tell that the process is working, all those spreadsheets and government calculators have driven me to keep going. I am actually probably in a better situation than most. The only problem with looking in the future, is that it doesn’t solve the problem in the now.
I probably don’t need as much money as I am currently earning. I guesstimate that I might need another five million just to get to retirement and another three million with government assistance until my time comes. I tried to nickle and dime the end, but it is better to have a cushion than to not have enough when you are too old to work.
What this means is that the work I am doing is just enough to meet my goals. I pressure is starting to cook me straight through. Things are manageable while there are no kids to worry about, but I can’t help but feel that I am missing out on something.
At the very least writing helps fill in the gap. It is a silent protest against my current condition. I guess all things considered it is a good life. I hope I haven’t put anyone to sleep reading this. It turns out that writing is a harder art than people make it out to be. I’m positive that I’ll make something out of it in a few years. I don’t know about you, but I get tired of the all political articles, and opinion pieces about people. The financial tips and speculation on AI futures.
Medium has and continues to be where writers can get their thoughts to a wide audience. It doesn’t happen overnight though. It comes from hard work and determination. Clear focus and ambition and a whole lot of luck. I am sure I will adapt with the platform. The experience in itself has been well worth it.
