On being a seer
Not of the future, but of others.
“A person who beams warmth brings out the glowing sides of the people she meets (…)” (David Brooks, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen)
The term ‘seer’ is reserved for someone who is able to see what others cannot. Usually that is understood to be some spiritual insight, but I’d like to apply the term to someone who is able to see another person and make that person feel seen as a result. I consider that kind of sight not any less extraordinary as the supposed ability to see into the future, because to be truly seen is rare in this day and age.
A seer looks beyond the surface. She does not take things at face value, but seeks the value underneath the face.
Outer appearances can after all serve to keep others from seeing the real us, the one we imagine does not quite measure up, leading us to project a carefully curated version of ourselves that we believe is passable or at least will keep us from being rejected if others were to see the real us . The us that feels broken inside. The us that can barely keep it together. The us we feel we should not be.
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A seer will sit with you. She will not brutally rip off your mask or pressure you into dropping it. Such is not her way. She will simply be present, silently acknowledging your inherent value.
A seer shares a table with you. A fireplace. A meal. In so doing, she establishes common ground. She is not a seer who resides high and mighty on a mountaintop for others to look up to reverently, but sits right next to you, not claiming some high ground but meeting you on an equal plane.
A seer will put on the kettle rather than open up a laptop or take notes, because she genuinely desires to meet your basic needs, to make you feel welcome and cared for. You’re not a problem to be fixed or a case to be solved, but a person to be met. Something as simple as a cup of tea can accomplish that, not by virtue of the tea itself, but by virtue of the intention with which it is given. The virtue of her heart. She cares.
A seer meets you face to face, human to human, soul to soul. She doesn’t size you up, label you and squeeze you into a predefined category, but sees you for who you are. She hasn’t figured you out. In her friendly eyes no judgement lies, only the silent invitation to simply be. She doesn’t say you have ‘potential’ in some general sense; her gaze sees the potential that is already there.
When you’re seen like that, your mask drops, like it had never been there to begin with. And because you are seen, you will see as well. Not because you are afforded some supernatural insight, but because the reflection of her warmth has lit a fire in you that makes you emit the warmth and clarity needed to see.
In a world that is often blinded by hate, greed and prejudice and countless people are or feel unseen, seers are much, much needed. May we all be seers of one another.
Aart
