TO THE PLACE WHERE LIGHT FINALLY FINDS YOU
On the light we give, the roads we take, and the long way home through the dark.
I listened to all your stories. I saw you, perhaps more deeply than you ever knew. And something within me stirred. I wanted to help you, to save you, to reach into that darkness and pull you out of the little corner you had been living in.
I wanted to be the light that would lead you somewhere better. I wanted to hold a little lantern for you, hoping its fragile glow would be enough to show you the way out.
But how heartbreaking it was to realise that everything I had to offer was never enough. Worse still, somewhere along the way, my attempts to help only seemed to push you further into a darkness that might have been even deeper than the one you came from.
I had given away everything I had. Every little piece of strength, every bit of warmth, every flicker of light I could gather. Until there was nothing left.
And just like that, I found myself back in my own darkest corner, holding an almost extinguished lantern.
I couldn’t even lend you a little light anymore. I could barely see you through the darkness that had swallowed me whole. And I remember wondering, how could I possibly save you when I could no longer even find my way to you?
But I wasn’t ready to leave you there.
So I gathered whatever little remained of me. Whatever strength I hadn’t yet lost. Whatever pieces of myself I could still put together.
And I made my way towards you.
I crawled through the darkness. I stumbled, I fell, I dragged myself back up. Sometimes I walked, sometimes I ran, and sometimes all I could do was keep moving, even when every part of me was begging to stop.
I did all of that just to reach the corner where you were.
And when I finally reached you, with what little strength I had left, I gave you something. Perhaps it wasn’t much. Perhaps it could never make up for everything you had been through. But it was all I had left to give.
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I gave you the little lantern I had been carrying, hoping its light would be enough to guide you somewhere I could no longer reach.
I sent you there, to a place I hoped would finally give you what I couldn’t. A place where you could breathe without carrying so much heaviness. A place where you could find the peace, warmth, and happiness you had been searching for.
And now, seeing that you’ve finally found it, I feel a kind of relief I cannot quite put into words.
So please, be happy.
Leave that little corner behind. Don’t feel the need to return to the darkness you once knew. Find somewhere bright, somewhere gentle, somewhere your heart can finally rest without having to fight so hard just to feel okay.
Go where the waves never seem to grow tired of reaching the shore. Where the sea breeze feels a little salty and sticky against your skin, carrying the scent of the ocean. Where the sky turns into the most beautiful shades of orange, and little flocks of birds sometimes wander across the horizon.
Breathe in that air. The kind of air that carries a scent you won’t find anywhere else. Let yourself get lost in the unfamiliar streets, among people who come from every corner of the world, people who may never know your stories, your struggles, or the person you used to be.
I hope they are kind to you. I hope life is kind to you there. I hope you find beautiful things in the smallest moments, and I hope, for once, happiness doesn’t feel like something you have to chase.
You deserve to experience what it feels like to simply be happy.
And if that place can give you even a fraction of the peace you’ve been longing for, then I hope you stay long enough to experience all of it.
As for me, I suppose I’ll have to find my way out of my own darkness now. Somehow. At my own pace. Perhaps I’ll have to learn how to light my own lantern again, to find my way through the very darkness I once tried so hard to guide you out of.
But don’t worry about that.
You have somewhere to be. Somewhere beautiful. Somewhere brighter.
So go.
Go without guilt. Go without looking back. Go and let yourself be happy.
I hope the place I helped you reach will love you in all the ways I no longer had the strength to.
And perhaps, that is all I ever wanted for you.
Be happy.
