Five Reasons Why I Think I am Single
Inspired by Mira
I’m sure we all remember the trend where people talked about why their friends think they are single.
Well, I tried to do it, but only two people indulged me so that video never made it to the Internet. Then Mira wrote on substack reasons why she thinks she is single and I wondered why it never occurred to me to do the same. So here I am stealing her idea (thanks Mira 😉)
So, onto the question, you all are curious about the answers to.
Why do I think I am single?
Well, there are a couple of reasons, but I’ll list only the normal ones.
First on the list would be because I have become too comfortable being by myself. I feel like with every new talking stage, I am more and more in love with being independent. For me, being single beats having to deal with someone I can’t stand.
In my very honest opinion, if being with you isn’t better than being by myself, then there’s no point. And let’s be honest, when you are a first daughter used to doing things by yourself, there’s a standard to meet and anyone who doesn’t ease the workload is immediately uninteresting to you.
Next would be that I have simply not found the man that makes my heart flutter and my head at ease. One thing I appreciate the most about myself is my ability to like someone and admit that they aren’t good for me.
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It’s a blessing that has saved me years of hurt. Some would argue that I have a wall up, but I think that my guardian angels are just working overtime 😜. Knocking sense right into my head anytime I am tempted to deviate.
Because how else do you explain my being single for this long when I lived in the same vicinity as Yoruba demons for years 🤣. It can only be God.
So maybe, just maybe if I have found a man that ticked most of my boxes, made my heart flutter and my head at peace, I would be a married woman by now. Alas, that hasn’t happened yet.
Now the next reason, a few therapists might admit to and that’s the fact that I might be afraid of commitment. I don’t share my family matters on the Internet, but I have trauma that I sometimes worry, is seeping into my love life. My fear is that I, out of trauma have not been emotionally available enough to take the step of entering a relationship.
I look back at my love life sometimes, and let’s be honest, I had a revolving number of admirers as an undergrad student. Girl was and still is cute. The same happened when I left Uni and decided to try out dating apps. However, I have found that the problem might not necessarily be the absence of lovers, but my fear of being in a relationship that I would regret. A relationship that would do harm to my self-esteem.
I have heard enough stories on the Internet to know that no one is safe from toxic men if they mean you, and your girl is a certified lover girl. I’m almost certain that they will use my head and the breakfast would be heard around the world. Lord knows we don’t want that, so maybe the walls are a way of protecting myself.
I think in that manner for a while, but then I remember, that reason cannot be possible 😜. As much as I would love to attribute my singlehood to my trauma, I think there’s only one genuine reason.
And that is that, I want to be a baby girl. And not the kind of baby girl you are thinking about. No. My baby girl life is one where I can afford the life I want, while being with a partner who spoils me silly.
I am highly independent. Unfortunately, that means as much as I would love to be able to rely on a man for things, my ego can’t take it. I need to be able to afford to get the things I want, but play on being my man’s girl to get him to do stuff for me. I need to be able to buy my man gifts, pay for dates for us when I am inspired to and spoil everyone around me silly but my bank account currently says no.
So maybe, just maybe, I’m waiting for the financial freedom I seek.
So yes, these are some of the few reasons I think I am single. I of course have more which I am attributing to some people 😉. If you are curious who these people are, tell me to drop a part two in the comments and I will do just that.
Till the next update, it’s your girl, Ifydime. Stay cute.
