Member-only story
Teaspoon
Chaos in kitty form
The cats I’ve had have always been laid-back, friendly, and loving to every human they greet. When I first got our kitten Teaspoon, I expected her to be roughly the same, maybe a little more shy, but still a genuinely nice cat. And I could not have been more wrong.
She has two modes:
- Schizophrenia mode — everything is trying to kill you, and you must survive
- Cuddles mode — everything loves you, and belly rubs are the only way to survive
Number two is a lot more enjoyable.
She will flop against you when you're sitting down, fall asleep on your lap when you're watching TV, rub her head against yours, and purr like a jet engine. She’ll always let the few select humans she trusts not to brutally murder her give her scratches.
Then there's the first mode.
It will be silent. Nothing will be moving. Teaspoon doesn’t think so; she knows better. If she doesn’t continue bolting around the house, knocking over things, jumping at people's legs, and staring at everyone like they just murdered her parents in front of her, she’ll die.
This is the only way to survive. If anyone approaches her, even if they were deemed safe before the apocalypse, they definitely aren’t now; they were corrupted, and now the…
