Member-only story
Featured
The Affair That Doesn’t Look Like Cheating
When a friendship crosses a line, love pays the price.
To many, cheating seems simple to define. In my experience, it’s rarely that clear-cut. Is cheating really just having a sexual or romantic relationship with someone other than your partner?
Where do you draw the line?
I think that the promise made to the other person to share life and its challenges with one another entails more than just sexual fidelity. Honestly, I’d go even further and say that emotional fidelity is more important to me. Let me explain.
For me, having too much to drink and kissing some random person isn’t the worst kind of betrayal. What would hurt more is finding out my partner trusts someone else more than me, shares thoughts with them that he no longer shares with me, or turns to them when things get tough. I’d have to wonder why he no longer feels safe bringing up his feelings and what is on his mind around me.
The big issue is that emotional closeness takes time to develop. It grows through conversations, trust, and vulnerability. That’s why I’ve always found emotional cheating harder to ignore than a one-time physical mistake that can happen on impulse.
