Clozapine, or Leave.
Where do we go from here.
I wrote this, in a period of intense anxiety. I had my fourth hospitalisation for symptoms of schizophrenia in as many months.
It is not good writing by any measure. It is my mind calming in real time. For a moment. That is.
A reel, of my mind.
I have a choice. Clozapine, or leave.
Myself behind.
Get out.
Float, away.
Stay.
Drown.
Either way.
A question. A consideration.
Am I 1/1
or
a) One of none.
1 0 1
A binary consultation.
Extrapolation. Yes, some.
Or no, I am done.
It’s hard to make the right choice.
Write, choices.
Pros and cons.
Overthrows, songs.
I listen. To compositions.
I compete, with no one.
Get Matty Apophenia’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
Not, in competition.
It’s hard to know.
Yes, or no.
I said that, maybe.
Maybe. A word, a third.
Yes, maybe, no.
Stay me.
Yes, no, maybe.
What is the right word.
To exist is to dream.
A dream is not a being.
It is my mind. Being.
Seeing things, I can’t be.
Being me, I can’t see.
I need to be more.
How can I be.
What eyes see.
For me.
I am lost at sea)
Forever <
Never > 1
= None.
This is a thought, done.
Resetting, to the top.
For this thought
Has just begun.
